Schedule list

As i have mention before, I didn't plan anything on this vacation besides my own necesities alias lg ga mood buat KEPO. So my friends and family pretty much have to do most of the planning for me, and let me follow them. I'm so having a hard time doing this as it is my nature to butt in and interfere,oh what the the hell I'm Monica, I'm the freaking Hostess everyone rarely appreciate. Monica would cook,serve food and drinks,clean up afterwards,etc. and I would make plans, call everyone to check up on the availability, compare them to the other's party member's availability, and voila once found/forced-to-make time, then I book them, and notify them updatesa about the change of events, and on the event day,I usually gotta check if everyone's ready and pick them up one by one, have a blast,have fun, having out, and drop everyone off at their home, leaving me the last person to always arrive the latest. i never bother to complain and everything bec it's Worth it, always is.

This time around I have mention many many times that I got no energy to be wasted on planning, driving, calling up,& etc bec of this worst year ever of mine and I'm taking a sabbatical from my EO(Event Organizer)'s duty, and decide to follow my first nature as a stay-at-home person, unless someone have a plan and driving while I'm free, I'll follow whatever/wherever thay'll take me, litterally . As I mention in this worst year ever, when I'm completely exhausted spending over the summer in my 'hell', I'm up for a 'rest/hibernation', some of my tomodachi, just wasn't feeling my 'need' and since these tomodachi of mine are appearently free from finals&thesis unlike most of my other tomodachi, they kept on asking me to hang out, but expect me to be the EO as usual. when I said I'm tired, they take it as I don't wanna hang with them, which was not true. So not towards my last days of vacations, they finally gets my point and take the EO's duty themselves, but I'm suffereing to see them plan out a 'whack' is what I would have guess, but who knows they might just surprise me.

I know they mean well and all since I cancel my Sweet 21 for reason of lack of guests, now they're insisting on a B'day celebration per say. although again as I must mention from my last few days of experience, I don't think their plans would 'work' , but I might just be to superstisious, then again I do expect most not-so-good things will happen especially in my last few days before the big CNY(Chinese New Year), I might get lucky although very doubtfully.

So good luck and all to my friends for trying and everything, hopefully u all manage to pull every plan off perfectly, but if things go not accordingly to your plans, I still appreciate them very much bec as I also mention, I expect NOTHING, and I mean it, OK!

Here's my schedule this week:

Monday:Itc(noon),all day out from home,(nite) MM/PV:lil bro Les.

Tuesday(yesterday): Home all day all alone, doing 'nothing'.
*supposebly doing something w/ my Ss&Ms's group, but I really think we might just be 'breaking up' due to many reason, one big mistake of mine on April's fool day of 2008 also included(REALLY THE WORST YEAR OF MY ENTIRE LIFE).

Wednesday(today): still home,spring cleaning,MM/PV: lil bro les.

Thursday(tomorrow): 5p.m. Dentist open (take braces off,get retainer), Take care of Miss FashionDiva's business, Windy ask to hang out to 'celebrate', but the plans are intertwining with the other 2 thing I was suppose to do, so trying to fit all these 3 events together w/ really getting all KEPO,doing well, Windy is an excelent EO as usual if only he would listen to me rambling once in a while about my future plans and all.
*The plan originally dates on my real B'day, d next day, but I mention I canceled my Sweet 21 so many times,and not really making any plan w/ frenz that day,only he wasn't really listening or on his own mind who could blame him, he's the narcis that can't/don't even admit/realize he is one, then again I'm not his 1st priority, never was so I'm used to it.

Friday:A&W MK w/ my grandparents, some of my your cousins(most still at school), dinner in Taipan WTC the entire family, Cousins sleeping over in my apartement thing(tradition).
*The 21th B'day I have been planning after I cancel d Sweet 21 thing, but believe to be dreading of some unlucky factor, but I'll face WHATEVER u're going to throw at me, so BRING IT ON,BITCH('rat)!

Saturday: Pizza Hut's brunch w/ my cousins(tradisi) ,then got booked by Girl-M&Naidelyn from 5p.m. Until whatever time,I guess. if possible 2nd cousin sleepover.
*Windy refused to join in on my B'day celebrate w/ Girl-M&Nai2 bec of unfriendly reasons, but I find it funny that he's 'alergic' to 'weird' people or as I said FREAKs, Plz I mean aren't we all! But yes I do believe that I 'got' what he's trying to say by 'weird' as in not-very-socially-accepted, WOW!!! Guess I shouldn't be surprised, all the people around me are HYPOCRITES, including me of course, I admit it truthfully, but I think I try to tone down mine. I believe he's just jealous bec he can't really show his biggest weirdo for some reason, and Nai&Girl-M can, so don't get offended by his words, he's the no.1 WOMENIZER I know, so don't take him to seriously when he's 'talking down' about any women as u should take me seriously when I'm MENIZING men, as I did most time.

Sunday(Kanma/God mom's B'day): No plan really, probably only some family dinner for 'Rat' year ending
*My drops of heaven after a long year of HELL

Monday(CNY,Day1):Lunch at Grandparents,hunt for Ang Pao while praying on Temples,Dinner at 'home' Temple,events at 'home' temple. midnite,went home packing.

Tuesday(CNY,Day2):9a.m. Flight from J-Town arrives at Sing at 11a.m, Night watch Fann Wong's movie, The Wedding Game.

Wednesday(CNY,Day3): 9a.m. Flight from Sing to SF.

And that's how the end of my vacation also the end of my WORST year would look like.
OxOx
Tao Priestess

O...........Teganya

I'm really feeling this song's lyrics and melody, word by word and note by note, tonight or perhaps more like all day today,really.
But nothing should surprise me these last couple of days things have happen,bad things.
i got sick,a flu,like 1 day before i leave for Sing again.
So I spend my sing time being sick,went to the doctor,etc although it was the most fun I had on this vacation of mine. When I went back here to indo again, I had an 8 hours nap bec of sick or something then I got diarhea the next day, then I got Maag/masuk angin, probably both, I had to make myself puke in order to feel better,gone through the night of hell. My nose was bleeding all day long yesterday, and today besides my very ugly real stomachache, bad breakfast, I literally got no one to eat dinner with, so yeah I'm very feeling the loneliness and the pain of THIS song by Tangga.

Lyrics:
Akhirnya kau pun pergi
Tinggalan ku di sini
Ternyata kau juga
Tak punya hati
Pedih hati tak terperih
Sedih kutelan sendiri
Mau marah, tapinya sama siapa

Chorus:
Kini aku di sini
Cuma sendiri
Sampai hati...
Sampai begini
Kau tak peduli
O....Teganya

Apalah salah dan dosaku?
Mengapa semua tinggalkanku?
Mau marah, tapinya sama siapa
Chorus

(Rap)

Pedihku tak terbendung
Langit ku mendung tiada berujung
K'mana berlindung
Sekarang engkau pun pergi
K'napa begini hatiku sedih

Ku sendiri

Chorus2x

P.S.:Loved this song ever since first time I heard it. it fits my life, I think, but today I got the meaning of this song outside of my FIRST reason Loving this song. Today I feft lonely where as most of other time I felt alone bec I'm still single....Hiks4.

So,somehow my lil bro managed to take a 4 hour nap in his room when I thought he was out. So didn't have dinner alone and lonely. Thx Goddess. And BRING IT ON,BITCH("rat") only 5 more days left for you to torture me, you better enjoy your last moment!
OxOx
Tao Priestess

P.S.:On our way back home however, Anggun's latest song Jadi Milikmu(Crazy) is playing on the radio and I'm back to feeling ALONE.

Men....

Have I mention I HATEEEEEEEE them so MUCH.........

Me , myself included, doing all these selfish stuff that just makes OTHER people suffer, on our selfish behavior and cause a wreck, and many unwanted future.

This sucks,  really want to turn back time, but I'm not even sure even if I DO manage to turn back time, I wouldn't still do the same exact thing all over again.

All I can do is Keep breathing and probably STOP singing O'Teganya by Tangga.

Waiting for the for world to change, but not sure it will, so I might just have to do something to change it....

Wish me luck, I guess

OXOX

Tao Priestess

 

P.S.: Ironically also my favo/No.1 jam at this time would be Godai Aku Lagi by Agnes Monica. I'm not that fond of the lyric of the song and everything, but can't really ge this song out of my head per say. It drives me WILD everytime hearing this song, I ALWAYS go, "BIAR DIRIKU ikuti dirimu JADI HAMBAMU, untuk cara jadi, jadi karyamu..."