LOVE SUCKS!!!!

"Love sucks" , I like this quote coming from this book that friend of mine, Sherlong managed to lend me this JAn 08.

The book's title is Say "NO" to Love by Wiwien Wintarto

Ok, the reasons that I haven't managed to read this book all the way from JAn 09 from when she lend me up until last few days on my family trip to Bdg are that I rarely read Indo book, so wasn't too sure if it's really worth wasting my time on, and I really don't have much of the time to even remember where I put the book let alone to read it, so that's about why.

For all of you that knows me definitely know that I LOVE "LOVE" in anyway and anyhow possible I would do or sacrifice anything to find love, ANYTHING.

SO I'm currently kinda feel weird that I like that expression, "Love sucks" bec I remember every single person that says that before in the past make me want or actually do scream at them saying at least you got one, even though it turns out to be sucks, but it's better to love and love than to never love EVER.

Ok, so the two main char in the book, got NOTHING in common with me, NOTHING, really.

Basically it's about these two person who just have very bad luck in their love life, but thank Goddess I guess since they're definitely Soul mate, as in Made for one another. It's just that they don't "love" each other although they are definitely perfect for each other, and not just because every single person that saw them together seem to think so. Which finally after all their very bad luck in love, now all they have was each other. This is not about them falling in love, well not in the book anyway who knows what's behind the "The End" part of the book., but it basically teaches the concept of actually finding someone that "clicks" with you someone that just perfect for you in every matter possible, your soul mate, not you true love, love of you life, big ,love, or any other love, but soul mate.

It was believed that many of us have managed to find our soul mate once upon a time in our life, "but just because we're perfect for each other doesn't mean that we should be together, especially not when we're not in love with each other." Many common mistakes that women usually makes, I believes, sorry for all women who feels like I'm trashing them, but the idea of love or true love was believed to take more toll on women than men, so I am included into those women with "waiting for my true love" syndrome. Not that there anything wrong with it to begins with almost every modern society was expected that marriage or relationship have to be based by L.O.V.E. So definitely these kind of people, including me feels no regret or remorse towards this idea and cherish it indefinitely.

So by the end of the book they finally realized that they do have feeling for each other even though it's not love, it's definitely a much stronger feeling than love, A Need for each other, a feeling where one can't imagine living his/her life with out the other, at least not anymore ever since they have met. The idea of Kawin gantung, perjodohan, etc might have been based on these idea, the idea where love doesn't need to exist in order to have a relationship with someone. As long as both fits each other would be a nice coupling, and many of these marriage's survive, definitely way more than those that require loves' marriages.

It's not that I haven't thought about it, I DEFINITELY CERTAINLY HAVE. It's my primary reason I asked a couple of my friends to be my "Back-Up"* , but of course I guess I dunno is it because that they have never imagine a concept of marriage without "love" or avoid marrying me (as is the idea of being with me is repulsive o whatever, no offense taken by me anyhow)or that they mind haven't even come close to marriage or any committed relationship, I dunno not for sure anyway why they all said "NO", but I do already had the feeling, but couldn't blame a guy for trying, who knows I do get some of my predictions wrong from time to time, glad for it to happen in a better way than I predicted even though it means that I was wrong.

SO, today's question:

Would be if you could pick, would you marry someone you love that isn't your soul mate or would you go for the "Love suck" and find your soul mate to marry instead?

To me, it's a definitely an interesting concept, too bad I can't/don't really have other options than "Love sucks" , my lack of humanity has definitely has taken it's toll on the whole Love thing. I have never been in love with anyone, Heck I don't even know if I have ever love anyone EVER, I mean family's love is a different kind of love, but truthfully I don't think I feel anything, but like or dislikes toward my family member, none of it includes love, I really2 do hope that I'm completely wrong on analyzing myself in this matter, but I dunno, maybe. So anyhow since there no way to know if I will ever fall in love EVER, the only options I would have would be to find my soul mate. And I would probably choose my soul mate over love for someone to marry because love is just a feeling, and since we can't control our feeling we didn't exactly know when they would come and make us fall in love with someone and when they would go and make us fall out of love with the person that we probably already marry by the time this happen. So main reason for that 50% of divorce is because we pick love over our soul mate whenever we can, I guess, so the good news was, "We're so much alike, We're in love, and We're gonna get married." The bad news is, "You're not the person I marry, I don't love you anymore, and I want a divorce." Guess What?! Those marriages are just doomed from the beginning bec as also I mention before love is a felling but friendship, likeliness, soul mate, they don't went away over time just like feelings, such as Love, usually does. So if the whole entire marriage or whatever else commitment that those people make was based on love only, just be careful and be prepared when someday you wake up and there's a stranger that you know next to you in the bed.

I'm pretty sure that Love is almost a helpless thing to refuse/reject, so DON'T try to throw them away, it usually never works, but it's only a feeling, it doesn't control your actions, your behaviour maybe, but not you action. So you can have the feelings and not act based on it. I believe a confession of loving someone to that someone usually does the trick to no longer feel the love virus that's ruining your life and your mind, just Confess nothing more! I know personally that this trick work for me once or twice in the past. So, I wouldn't doubt it, but I wouldn't call it in love per say, probably more like a "crush", but confession definitely did the trick to gain back all control of your mind.

Luck for Love and Fate to meet their soul mate,to all

OXOX

Tao Priestess

Natasha Bedingfield - Soulmate, a very touching song that hopefully will make you realize how hard is it t find your soulmate in this life.

PS:* Ok, I have explain to my friends that there is such things as "Back-Up" , but not quite sue they understand perfectly. "Back-Up" is a person or more that you made promise to marry and live the rest of your lives together with, when..... if..... (whatever the conditions are) usually would involve getting older and none of them is married or ready to give up on looking for "True Love" Settling down with someone that you can actually pick despite whatever your feelings are towards them, but if you're going to pick someone to marry in case your "True Love" never shows up wouldn't you pick someone like a soul mate, a friend who you can feel like being yourself with, someone who u know you can depend on, someone you won't regret spending the rest of you life with (when you never find/ give up on looking for "True Love"). I absolutely have no regret asking "them" to be my "BAck-Up"even though I know the answer before hand because I can actually see and imagine the future with "them" although I'm pretty sure to not have feeling more than just a friend/ best friend towards them. Again, can't blame a guy for trying especially when it's probably the only thing I can do for my own future relationship/marriage.

Vacation so far

As you all should know first of all.

Due to my lack of energy to plan stuff, and other late work I need to make up during this vacation time, I AM NOT going to plan (as in to call, check schedule&availability of when All my friends can hang out, plus also not thinking of anywhere to go or what to do) anything, so unless my friends or whoever it is have made the plan, I'll probably just be at home hibernating and all like a polar bear, but if they do make the effort to make a plan and all I'll do my best to follow along.

2nd reason why I decided not to plan anything is because most of my friends are all on their last semester of S1, so they have got thesis to write finals of all finals to study, and trials to be prepared for, so I really don't think that they would have any time to spend anyway, which is my primary eason on deciding to stop over on Sing up until New Year, 1 Jan of 2009, but some family planned vacations was in order, so I was forced to arrive in J-Town ealier than I planned, which was 18 of Dec. My family trip to Bdg just ended yesterday and am I glad, sort of that it did, kinda, most likely. The reason for this is that I know ahead of time that this family trip isn't going to be as fun as the one I went with Windy,and his Untar "people" (TarQ2's Junior High who goes to Untar). And family trips usually never was much fun. Anyway besides proven that I stand corrected about most of the future that I manage to predict, I also grateful for hating/disliking my family more is definitely helping me, not to be in a mood to shop or eat in this matter. I'm good either way, my anger issue has definitely went overboard, I'm guess my first summer in US cause this effect hopefully my 10days in sing from 4-15 JAn 09 will clear this thing up.

3. Final thing I would like to mention is that I'm definitely canceling my Sweet 21 B'day bash bec of the guest invites are all or mostly unavailable due to their finals happening on the same week, I felt bad about wasting their time, trying to make it to my stupid B'day rather than doing their best on their finals, I DEFINITELY do not want my B'day to be one of the reason that they couldn't have done any better. So I declared my event gone, in order to "help" in a way I can only think of or do. AFterall, as I mention I'm so damn freaking tired with this year's unluckiness towad the rabbit zodiak community, I decided to stop asking for disastous thing to happen by not trying to plan stuff, and go with the flow, sort of, hopefully you all understnad and know what I mean. So I'll have fun any how on , my hibernating vacation with or without my friends, so Don't feel guilty about not being able to accompany me while I'm in J-Town. Put you needs before mine, ok!

 

Anyhow Friends forever and Keep in touch

OXOX

Tao Priestess/M$tm

Singapore,Baby!

People, I'm in Sing, and I'm leaving tonite at 9.25 pm 18 Dec 2008 to J-Town, Indo.

my phone number is still +62**58808300.

ok. that shoulld be all .

Bubai

The latest Jam of my soul and Blues to my heart

Been crazy about these two song, for obvious reason.

The jam just moves me in so many way literally, every single time with a dance or so more or less.

Lady Gaga -Just Dance

A red one
Convict
Gaga

I've had a little bit too much
All of the people start to rush (start to rush by)
A dizzy twister dance
Can't find my drink or man
Where are my keys?
I lost my phone

What's goin’ on, on the floor?
I love this record baby but I can't see straight anymore keep it cool What’s the name of this club?
I can't remember but its alright, a-alright

Chorus:
JUST DANCE!
Gonna be okay
Da da doo doot-n
JUST DANCE!
Spin that record babe
Da da doo doot-n
JUST DANCE!
Gonna be okay
D-d-d dance, dance, dance, just
J-J-JUST DANCE!

Wish I could shut my playboy mouth
How'd I turn my shirt inside out (inside out right)
Control your poison babe
Roses have thorns they say,
And we’re all getting’ hosed tonight!

What's goin’ on, on the floor?
I love this record baby but I can't see straight anymore keep it cool What’s the name of this club?
I can't remember but its alright, a-alright

Chorus

When I come through on the dance floor checkin' out that catalogue
Can't believe my eyes so many women without a flaw
And I ain't gonna give it up, steady trying to pick it up like a call
I'm a hit it up beat it up latch on to it until tomorrow yeah

Shorty I can see that you got so much energy
The way you twirlin' up them hips round and round
And there is no reason that at all why you can't leave here with me
In the mean time stay let me watch you break it down and

Chorus

Half psychotic sick hypnotic got my blueprint its symphonic
Half psychotic sick hypnotic got my blueprint electronic
Half psychotic sick hypnotic got my blueprint its symphonic
Half psychotic sick hypnotic got my blueprint electronic
Go! Your your muscle car-ve it out work it, hustle!
Don't Slow! Drive it, clean it lysol, bleed it
Spend the last dough in your pocko!

Chorus

Watch the fabulous video here


My blues on the other hand just wrench my heat every time the melody even begins to play. There's a sense of suffering and belongings of my soul tingling over my entire body, it's just nuts, crazy , but somehow also wonderful and amazing to actually feels my own soul there inside of me, move so greatly that I can feel it's present within my flesh and blood.

The Fray - You Found Me

//Verse 1//
I found God
On the corner of First and Amistad
Where the west
Was all but won
All alone
Smoking his last cigarette
I said, “Where you been?”
He said, “Ask anything.”

//Verse 2//
Where were you
When everything was falling apart?
All my days
Were spent by the telephone
That never rang
And all I needed was a call
It never came
To the corner of First and Amistad

//Chorus 1//
Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why’d you have to wait?
Where were you, where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, You found me

//Verse 3//
In the end
Everyone ends up alone
Losing her
The only one who’s ever known
Who I am
Who I’m not, and who I want to be
No way to know
How long she will be next to me

//Chorus 2//
Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why’d you have to wait?
Where were you, where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, You found me

//Bridge//
Early morning
The city breaks
I’ve been calling
For years and years and years and years
And you never left me no messages
You never sent me no letters
You got some kind of nerve
Taking all I want

//Chorus 3 and outro//
Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Where were you, where were you?

Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why’d you have to wait?
Where were you, where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, You found me

Why’d you have to wait
To find me, to find me?

Watch the fantastic video here

Those two songs been my very own steroids or drugs towards my suffering lately with the stress of the end of a semester, you all should know what I'm talking about I'm just glad it's about more or less than 108 hours until I'm out of this continent, can't wait, but also of course I got a lot of thing to be prepared for, but I still can't wait.
OXOX
Tao Priestess

Lonely as ever

You know after watching the trilogy movie of The Librarian.
All three, The Quest for The Spear, Return to Solomon's Mine, The Curse of The Judas Chalice.

I realized something, I realized that I love adventure movies, as in tomb's raider kind of movie, maybe not like The Da Vinci Code, or National Treasure, but the kind like Indiana Jones although I'm not particularly like Indiana Jones movies, I dunno maybe bec it didn't have any touch of magic that I was hoping for, kind of like The Librarian or Tomb Raider.

Anyway besides that I completely realized, of course after that main point of the entire story line behind the third movie of The Librarian, Curse of The Judas Chalice. I swear it was like watching twilight all over again, literally just with different ending more or so, but definitely realize something else. It wasn't only Cupid, God&Goddess of love that was "cursed" with not being able to "love", but many more basically all God&Goddess can't "love" due to their "job" of ruling something, also those "chosen" people that also got not only a "job" or the "calling" to their "fate/destiny" , but also got their lives sucked into them completely, no time for family events, no time to spend with friends, and definitely no time for dating, love life, that special significant other; in other words no time for any personal matter at all. So, these "chosen" people might even be more unluckier than Cupid, God or Goddess bec these people had the chance and even might actually found their soul mate or true love even, but bec of the needs or the feel of the duty to fulfil their "fate/destiny", so they have to let them go. It's just unbelievable, I mean for all we know Cupid, God & Goddess might not be blessed to have a soul mate or true love to begin with, but these people do have that someone for them, but they just "forced" to sacrifice themselves and let them go, as for their happiness in love.

It's just sad and very touching to let your soul mate or your true love go for all the "right" reasons, don't you think so?
OXOX
Tao Priestess

PS: For those of you who are lucky enough to find your soul mate or true love, be happy with it. Don't ever let them go! If they're happy to be with you and they want to be with you, why would you be STUPID enough to let them go!? You should really know that if you did leave them for selfish enough reasons, then you're just a FREAKING IDIOT!

Finals and deadlines this week , DAMN

ok, to start of the best gossip girl ever... well sort of
Goddess, heart-wrenching Heroes

(SPOILER ALERT) for those who haven't catch up to the latest episode better not read the next FEW paragraphs AT ALL

UGH what the FUCK, what the hell, shot, ugh sop un-freaking believable oh, it was all seems so perfect up until the end part, damn it come on........ Blair finally said those there little words good for her able to accept love and being nice and all thanks to he new step-dad, I guess, but Chuck just have to be the bastard narcissist, disregarding those words he been longing to hear from her; the perfect lover when he finally admits and accept her to come into his heart; but then turns into the "perfect" gentleman, and leave her with the reason of he's not good enough for her. UGH, come on!!!!!!!!!

Dan just gotta ruin everything by not playing along, and Serena just finally close that door possibly forever, this is horrible. Horrible horrible especially horrible, then again, if Dan is really going to tun out to be gay at season 3/4 then maybe this wouldn't be the worst thing, that will happen, yet I guess.

And yes the Rufus-Lily drama is firing up from BArt's funeral up until elanor's wedding. Finally they can be together again from a few decades ago, to last season when LIly choose to marry Bart bec Serena ask her to not pursue Rufus, bad choice then bad one now, but glad Serena come to accept the fact that it won't stop the love story between those two, but not answering dan's phone call to alert the breaking up of their parent before they can even finally start again. I just knew it, even since Serena's grandma giving those hints that somehow everyone never notice about Lily's secret, 1 thing I figure it has gotta be something about Rufus, but what her obsession with him in his rock star years, but gotta be something more she can't went NUTS just bec that, something more like pregnant on early years ,as in pregnant with Rufus's baby. DA, it was all figuratively solvable like some math problems that you know what the answer is that, but can't quite figure out why or how you know that you have the right answer when you haven't even start to calculating those numbers , yet. And it's all confirm when in the end Rufus said, "All I needed to know was, is it a girl or a boy?" Huh, figures. Am I, right? or am I RIGHT!

Heroes unfreaking-believable, how the hell, well figure athur uses the power he stole from hiro, and the "thing" and after making the serum he died. Sylar kill him, ugh damn it. Peter haven't got his power back yet. Hiro lost his power and stuck in time, 16 years ago, come on, Damn it. Claire returned to the future. DAMn it I almost cried when it was Kristen Bell's body lying on the sand ugh, come ON! Damn well where would I'll be able to see Kristin Bell again. huh..........

(SPOILER's OVER)
ow well, all over this week next week no new episodes not that I'll HERE anyway, yup we reach that middle point of mid-season where it finally no new episodes of our favorites shows. not until next yea anyway too bad my cable can only show up until 2 weeks ahead of the tv shows schedule, so won't get to record Scrubs ne home at ABC channel, witgh the premiere episode guess starring Coutney COX, ugh so wanna watch, guess watch online should have to do it. Plus new shows like Tust me with my favorites comedy actos, it's gonna be awesome. Plus Priviledged is con tinuing on Jan, I know very ealy huh, weell I wouldn'y be here since I'm leaving this freaking continent on 15 dec 2008 13.05 from SFO and arrive at 17 dec 2008 around 1 a.m. and will be in Sing for about 44 hours, I should be in J-Town, Indo, my hometown from 18dec 21.45, ok, so when then you all called me on my indo cell ok.

I'll be in sing from 4 jan 2008 - 12 probably jan 2008, then go back to j-town again to plan my sweet 21 if there's anything to plan eally I'm somehow no longer in a very celebratory mood, I guess it's true what people said about the fun of the "preparation" but when it come to the "celebratory" part is not such fun. So yeah probably not going to be any party later, but let's see if there's any mood changes happen when I'm finally back in ASia after the longest time that I have been stuck here in a year EVER. Thank Goddess I'll be in ASia twice next year, people on the early year for my B'day and Chinese New Year, DA!~!!! and on summer my Kris Flyer miles redeems ticket was up at Jusy 25 exactly so I get to go home on mid year woho, then agian this would mean I can't eally do summer school, which mean I wouldn't be graduating MAy of next year probably, my graduation gonna be delayed up to the year end, dunno whether to be happy about it or not, but I guess it gives me a break on my "deadline" and whther or not I could get into an intenship programs or somethin. Hopefully Grad school fo S2, but don't bet on it I am still dying slowly and from my anger issue is totally uncontrolable vey lately and since everyone been saying thaty I finally found out whatever the hell reason is and I'm pretty sure it's all about the longest stay I have ever been in here or probably about my very fist summer here, and for the freaking first time I got sick and in so badly sick that I'm just wanna drop dead, those stupid annoying make mes wanna feel like fainting headache, ugh, come on.....

I'm sure I'll be at my calm center once I'm outta here or when it's touch dwon on SING, can't wait.
OXOX
Tao Priestess

Naidelyn, Happy B'day

You probably think or hoping that I forgot your b'day, especially since my loyal b'day reminder phone is broken, but sorry no such luck, Naidelyn.

Happy B'day to you, Nai.
May all you wish come true.
All your hope have no chance of being .
Your prayers answered.
Blessed you'll be always.

Glad to have a friend like you, hopefully we'll be friends for life
OXOX
Tao Priestess

PS: I didn't mention your age bec age is a part of woman's mistery, remember a secret is what makes a woman, a "woman." Hehehehe

Dedicating to my mom's B'day, but......

Ok, I have no manner, that's completely true, no argument, I somehow just didn't born with it, maybe no one does, but most people learn manners and manage to attach them to their daily life, but I just can't somehow, I'm sorry you all.

Ok, and again besides those manners that I don't obtain, my relationship with my very closely blood-link with my family aren't so good, and I mean with my brothers, my parents, and my grandparents from my dad, basically my entire family that lives in the same house with me, they just drives me nuts to the point of no returning to them, physically and emotionally, I guess. So now somehow even though I'm far away from them, that they are less annoying, and I don't hate them so much any more only when I'm on the phone with them, so far. anyway either bec of these or maybe bec I'm just plain insensitive who can't even feel like I MISS them, at all. Which brings me to either consciously or unconsciously never remember to calls them unless it's very essential like day or finance thing, and they ask and told me to call more, for like a 2 minute chat, just asking ,is everyone ok, etc. So I set up my phone to have reminder to call them every week on the weekend, well that didn't seem to work for the last 3 weeks or so, pls now my phone is broken, so even "better", ugh...

Anyway just called them this weekend and just now with my mother telling her Happy B'day, well bec my phone's broken the reminder didn't exactly set off, so almost forgot about it until my lil bro, Denoya sms me, to call home about that of course he was also kinda testing me by not making it obvious, of course I remembered instantly and check the clock it already passed midnight of 2 December 2008 (I never believe in celebrating that same day if my time zone haven't yet, I would rather be late bec of course congratulating someone on their birthday earlier than their time, which haven't comes yet would be like cutting them short of their life span by those hours, minutes, and seconds that you "skip" to tell them an early congratulation's, then again it's just a belief, but I also believe that every belief was created for some reasons, either it's cultural beliefs or traditions, no matter how old they are you shouldn't really disbelieving them, especially when you certainly don't know the reasons why those beliefs or traditions were created for WHAT reasons in the first place, even though you though you knew the anthropological reason, some things are just not for science or human to mess with from the start, so.. I'm just keeping my safe options, as to believe on every single one, well mostly anyway while I'm at it I also create new traditions and hopefully manage to get rid of all the useless old ones, plus since it's mostly true that when you don't believe in something then "it" won't work for you, but I also do know that just because you DON'T believe in something, that doesn't mean "it" doesn't EXIST, or any less true for those who believe)

Yeah, I was so lucky, Denoya pick up the phone and told me that mom was on the phone with someone else, and while I wait for my mom to get off the other phone, Denoya's God mom, my cousin, Lady's mom, my mom's youngest sis was just arrived at my house there and was just delivering MY present to my mom( I gave her my mom's present when she was here with Lady to visit me during the summer) just on time, any way the rest pretty normal just saying happy B'day and my mom start yapping and almost lost my temper, bec if her, but also bec of the phone's bad reception, plus the topic was about annoying family members that I HATE, to death, SO YEAH GETS MY TEMPER GOING UP, but mostly she just couldn't let the idea of my actually forgets to call every week the issue, I told her I just couldn't remember since my memory is that bad, and with me getting distracted always, how did I managed to keep such thing, I explained up there when I was starting this blog. I'll try harder, but seriously I really do think that I have Attention Deficit Disorder(ADD) where I just can't barely focus on one thing most of the time, I was so much better off with multi-tasking bec of this, but never been such great results in any of my work anyhow, gotta see a doctor about this, maybe... anyway I figures since my friends, or strangers-like didn't even believe me, when I just start yapping with what is wrong with me, why would my mom or family would admit that I have any flaw, especially not a normal one such as
-my insomniac, I have been asking for sleeping pills years even before I move here, NOT GIVEN
-my insensitivity toward my own feelings, my family is expert on making me feel this, but they certainly not know that I don't know when I "like" someone or I'm capable of falling in love someday, please I'm not even "allowed" to date if I really truly lived by the rules that my family gives me and my bros, but I am capable of love. I know this not just bec I hate my family, since according to ME if you're capable to hate someone then you're certainly capable to love, also like I always said I love my cousins, from mom's family side, and I love my God parents and my God sisters and bro, and I love my friends, but never been able to love a friends like a family wait scratch that there are some friends that just feels like more like a family than just a friend, probably bec they are in my family's world but not part of my family in blood. So I'm capable of love for friends and family, just not sure whether I can fall in love with someone, yeah this is enough complication for any normal people who can feel and fall in love, how did you think if affects me since I can't even tell my own feelings.
-let's see my ADD, this one they just don't wanna admit to it probably bec they don't want to be thought as an idiot by public, please ADD hardly an idiot my IQ is normal!
-The fact that I have cat/owl eyes, where I just see things better when it's night/dark, all I need is tiny stinking lite from somewhere and I can see the entire room clearly, like a candle or some sort is enough BUT they never trust me of course, very annoying since my bathroom in indo or here got a window or some sort that allows lite to come in even at night, so I never take a shower with the bathroom lights on, so once they figure I was inside, they must turn on the light and blind me right away since water reflects the light everywhere, and with my eyes that's very sensitive to light, the reason my driving wasn't better at day, annoys the hell out of me, they really couldn't trust me when I said I can see fine in the dark, Goddess, i'M JUST A NIGHT OWL&/CAT, deal with it!
-my Tv addict, oh don't even get me started-, I wouldn't be speaking any word of english if it wasn't because of TV.
-my laziness , even they admit this one, I do wish of getting rid of this one, but my it kicks in again every time I tried to put some effort on getting rid of it. I need a life coach or something to get rid of this one.
-my psychic-ness, just fine they don't really know much about it, they think I was just yapping when I told them about the future or my future.
-my girlishness, my dad can't handle it, and my mom even worse, plus my brothers and my cousins.
-my fatness, getting rid of it, I hate it bec of my own reasons as well so don't even bother with their disgust and etc, I NEVER care about my look, and certainly NOT going to want ANYONE who want to be with me , JUST because of IT.
-my talkativeness, plzzzzz.... it runs FROM the family
-ow, my money spending attitude, again since I was "raised" like a spoiled prince somehow, I never really See the importance of money, at least not until cent/ penny worth of money, but I mostly shop from SALE rack, and never going to buy things just bec of brand/expensive, but comfort and cheap , in fact the only brand of clothing that I really like was only Banana Republic especially it's wonderful prices, when compared to other brands. And Unless I really like some things so bad and I was sure that I couldn't get them any better, any cheaper, or any where else in that matter I would go crazy and shop, but aside from that my family don't like it that I don't see much of what money do. Well, I don't really believe money brings much of "true" happiness, so... maybe that's why. I just might have to suffer financial problems in the future to purely understood how much would a money's worth in life, I just wish I would learn it sooner than later, of course if I can.
Hopefully that about all of my flaws although I'm surely much more flawed and damaged than that, but I'm willing to accept these flaws as a part of me and I will change what I don't like, and probably be keep in those that I like, but as long as someday I can be someone better that myself now, just dunno how or when that would happen, just know it will, someday... that's all I can do and promise myself,for now since also lack of ambition for most of the things in life besides love was just another flaw of me. I would really just have to say, I'm not most people, especially not normal in so many ways, and I'm fine with it, I guess I would change me for someone else, for now at least.

Thanks for listening(reading) you guys. I should learn how not to expect other to know you by stalking or investigate every one of your moves to know or listening and holding on every single one of your words, to know someone, I gotta expect others to know the thing I want them to know bec I told them directly not just bec I "hint" on it. I should realise that not everyone excluding the narcissistic ones, can't focus and tell on their someone who had a long relationship/friendship with just by looking or just with one word, one tone in their voice to know if something is wrong or that everything is alright. I really just know that only great detectives or those people that you share your "soul" with can do that kind of deduction of knowing you're ok or not just with a single tone on your voice from the phone or their body language at first glance, I guess I just been blinded by Tv that most of great friendship/relationship had that kind of "soul" binding thing. I have always thought that from all the great friendships I had with my good friends we already Had the "soul" binding thing, but even from that group less than half only could manage to do that "soul" binding " thing with me, I guess. So I have always thought that I have less "true" friends bec of the lack of this "soul" binding thing, but like I said a great detectives who could be a total stranger can make me feel this "soul" binding, and I sometimes do with other's that are a complete stranger to me. I figures that those friends that I have the "soul" binding thing with would probably just happen bec I know them from the past lives, those great friend that do not have this "soul" bonding thing with me probably just very bad detectives who probably don't pays attention when I'm lecturing or going on rambling about something, then again should I blame them I mean they are only humans and have their limitation towards my talkativeness, who doesn't! Really... So... I should stop the "hint"ing and be more direct about things towards them, even though I would hate doing this "direct" thing since part of the excitement is when you don't even know that you're "hinting", but your friends pays close attention and surprises you anyway, but I wouldn't raise my expectation from my friends that high anymore, I'll tell them directly if I want something or if whatever, so that they won't go crazy to as what I was "hinting" about that they didn't notice, as my B'day present or many more other things. I realised it's wrong to do so( raise your hope and expectations,and ended up with none of what your wants, so I'll be more direct next time, but again I'm warning out all my "direct" conversational style might not be appropriate to younger viewers, so girth your loins... everyone bec my Saddistic, social arkward, pil-popping addict, Dr. Gregory House's personality is one pompous ungrateful bitch with the hint of sarcasm on the end of every sentences.

Just be prepare and Good luck
OXOX
Tao Priestess

Ps: It's also Britney's B'day, so Happy B'day again Brit! I said my grace in the world's no.1 biggest Brit fan, Young majesty, on his Burn Book blog

Top ten Comedy of 2008

i also watch top ten funniest comedy movie of the year
1. Forgetting Sarah Marshall
2. Tropic Thunder
3. Pineapple Express
4. Beverly Hills Chihuahua
5, Baby Mama
6. Get Smart
7. Step Brothers
8. Kungfu Panda
9. Burn after reading
10. You don't mess with the Zohan

Also couple clips from some very funny moment from other nicest comedy of the year:
Those I got to watch:
+Those are Funny:
-Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist
-Made of Honor
-Get Smart
-Baby Mama

+Not funny:
-Burn After Reading

Those I missed, that I think were funny:
-Role Model
-Four Christmases
-Ghostown
-Kungfu Panda

Nice list I would say

Updates

Hey, haven't been blogging for a while of course it's Thanksgiving weekend. I got the whole week off.

Supposedly I 'm planning on doing my research paper or my presentation of my research that my paper was going to be based on since Dec3 was the due date for the paper and probably the date I gotta have to do my presentation, but of course as if you all didn't know me. I didn't do any of them, at all figures, especially when one of my friends happen to give me a mouse and since it's the main reason I quit online gaming. Yeah, guess what happen..... yeah got into online games again, and my "stupid" headache returns guys this week, ugh. Granado espada, start all over again and it wasn't even as nice as Ragnarok, dunno why I even play it, PangYa on the other hand, I love it even though I don't like golf, weird huh....

Anyway, and busy Sunday is coming up, Baby D.J. is getting baptized, yeah and I'm the photographer/cameraman, yay... me. Well, since I'm a toaist and both his parent is catholics, soo too bad I can't be the God Father, then again I figured I'll be leaving in 8months or 4 years and a half the most or so, can't really do a lifetime of spiritual guidance, when I'm only going to be in the early like first 5 years of his life when he's still a baby literally. Yeah I tried to speak to him as much as I can, but not sure either he can understand me or he'll LISTEN or even remember me after he's all grown up. So I'll settle for his roommate/ uncle. And his mom told me to manage a blog for him, but so far only 1 post of his birth pic in it, the thing is he's 4 months old rite now, so trying tor set up the pic of his events with his growth and stuff is not that easy, well since I don't have access on most of his main pics, but i'll do my best once I got the time.
If any of you are interested go to dextonjax.blogspot.com to see Baby D.J. 's birth pic, hopefuly will catch up that blog up until the most recent one.

ok, just catchign u guys up on what I was doing all week and so on, and right now while watching the Europe Music Awards. Amazing performances, so much better than American, especially since the american awards are like PG rated the most, and europe's always 1 R-rated above.
Pink Won the most "catchy" track for "So What", Katy Perry's "I kissed a girl" got 2nd place
Britney won two awards for both of her nominees, awesome for you Go and Awesome Comeback Britney, PS: Advanced Happy 27th B'day to her on this 2nd Dec 2008, Thanks Young Majesty.
Btw just realize that my mom's B'day is also 2nd of Dec, all this time same B'day didn't even notice, either I'm a bad fan of Britney or a bad son to my mother,probably both.
Katy Perry won best new artist though, of course she deserve it, ow and have I mention the awards was histed by Katy Perry herself, and she's a much much better host, especially when she never even host before. More awesome performances than the American one have I mention that? And lost's more "talented" artists I would say.

Oh, this makes me remember all those good and amazing music awards shows, the best one in fact, Asia Music Awards, but since I move here been missing that show feels like forever already.... well I'm sure you all will get to watch Europe music award more than the Amercian one.

That'll be all didn't miss anything from this "boring" and technically not even a "rest"ing with, those "stupid" headache's fault. Next week, let's see me pulling of a paper and a presentation before Dec3 if it's at all possible, wish me lots of luck and pray for me, really I'm going to need them. And yes the week aftet that I'll be facing finals, and my ticket for 15 dec to leave this "hell" hole wasn't even confirmed yet, I so don't wanna wait until 18th dec to get our from here.

Thansk you all for listening to me
OXOX
Tao Priestess

American Music Awards 2008

Ok, usually I wouldn't care for any music awards besides Asia Music Awards, but I'm desperate to listen to some good music/songs, so I figure why not.

Jimmy Kimmel Host, he's freaking hilarious with his opening monologue.

Opening with Christina A 's Greatest Hits' Mix, it's awesome.

Jamie Fox gave out Favo Soul/ R&B to Rihanna (other nominees: Mary J B & Alicia Keys)

New Kids On The Block performs -skip

Paris H an T Payne present Pop/ Rock Favo goes to Chris B (Others: Kid Rock & Usher)

Someone presents Pink, badly, but her next new single (after So What), which is Sober was pretty awesome song, I would say

Lance Bass present Taylor Swift - new great song (her next single after Love Story)

country duo group- skip

Ne-yo performs- skip

Nickleback (I love their new song There's Gotta Be Somebody) presents Favo Rap/Hip-Hop Kayne West win-skip

Jesse McCartney presents Leona Lewis singing Better In Time. (Bleeding Love was co-written with Jesse McCartney)

Billy Ray Cyrus presents her own daughter, Miley Cyrus, which everyone mention already that today was her real 16th Birthday. She performs Fly on The Wall, don't like this song pretty much ever since I heard it on Radio Disney, wish she performs other songs.

Shanney W(the star of The Secret Life of an American Teenager) with David A, the one that DIDN'T win American Idol presents Favo Country singer- ow who cares

Coldplay performs- skip

Alicia Keys win best Pop/Rock Album

Mariah Carey got special award from AMA's honor for surpassing the world longest record of Music history beating, Elvis Presley. Also in 2008 that she solo artist that has the most no.1 hits of all time, in addition Mariah has now spend the most week on no.1 than ANY other artist in the HISTORY OF RECORDED MUSIC
She performs I stay in love. Lovely song, haven't hear it enough to feel or to sing it, so now my favo song, yet probably.

Country Female Favo, guess who wind Taylor Swift, pretty predictable( along with the other Reba"Queen of Country")

Pop/Rock Female favo goes to Rihanna (others:Alicia Keys & Mariah Carey) Awesome

The Red-Head Hottie, Kate Walsh presents The Fray bec of course The Fray got big from their single hits soundtrack for Grey's Anatomy , How To Safe A Life. They sang their new single from new album, You Found Me(used for the premiere song of the new season of LOST), I like the song a lot as do their songs before.

Jordan Sparks *Enrique Iglesias presents Rap/ Hip-Hop male artist, whoever wins

Ashley Tisdale(so pretty with her hair red-brown color, better than Blonde) presents the breakthrough artist goes to Jonas Brothers, ugh

Beyonce performing Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) , nice song, love it...., and nowadays it just reminds me the skid that Justin Guest star on Saturday Night Live wearing high heels shoes and tight balerina leaotard, and dance as Byonce's back-ground dancer for this song's video, super hilarious, can't believe he manage to pull the dance perfectly, besides the fact he's wearing heels, DAMN. The Co-writter for this song presents her, and saying that all the American men mad at him for making this song, but they'll get over it. hehehehehehhe

Akon & Juliet Huff presents favo Soul/R&B album. Alicia Keys wins this one. (others: Mariah carey and Mary J B)

Demi L presents Jonas Bros

Next up The Pussycat Dolls, Baby... singing When I grew up and I hate this part. Both awesome and they are awesome, I wish I got their's presentor's speech when introducing them on the Grammy's I believe it goes something liek this, this next group is so hot that if all their hotness combined we would have/ can prevent Global Warming. this nest group is so pretty that if all their hotness combined we can have world peace, and this next group is so sexy that if all their sexiness combined we can have ..................

That was the best performance on AMA, I believe. Awesome dancing , awesome music, and definitely the AWESOME, SEXY&HOT Pussycat Dolls.

Suprise Guest that was promised was indeed someone famous and fabulous, hoping it was Britney Spears, but we all settle for her "soul mate " counter-part, Justin Timberlake presents special award on merit (humanitarian) and presents her, Anny L.

Natasha Beddingfield sings her songs: Soulmate, Unwritten, Pocket Full of Sunshine.

Rihanna Continues with Rehab.

Pop/Rock group/duo Favo goes to Daughtry, can't blame them their songs are mostly likeable,even though not really my top favorites, but pretty good and awesome songs.

Angel by, some artist and Pink

Artist of the year . Nominee: Alicia Keys, Chris Brown, Coldplay, The Eagles, Lil Wayne.
Chris Brown winner.

Alicia Keys with two very special guests
Alicia: This song here is dedicated to all my super women here tonite, and all my super women watching.

Alicia:
Everywhere I'm turning, nothing seems complete....
Stand up and I'm searching for the better part of me
hid my head from sorrow, strain from humanity
Wearing on my shoulder, gotta find the strength in me

Chorus:
Cause I am Super women, yes I am, yes she is
even when I'm a mess still put on my vest, with it yes, all my chest

Queen Latifah raps

chorus

Katleen P sings oprah like in other language, probably french

the three collaborates, very nice song I would say.

That's all, hope you enjoy the report, my fun was when Pussycat Dolls performs, and when they present Rihanna win an award, plus when Kate Walsh,Ashley Tisdale presents, The Frey's performance, and Jimmy's opening sarcarstic monologue,just without the hostility tone, very nice touch
OXOX
Tao Priestess

Twilight + A2's B'day

Ok, just got back after watching the Twilight movie, it was pretty awesome. Totally and completely different experience from reading the book, although I would totally suggest reading the book, but since the movie is out anyway, might as well watch the movie first,so u won't get the disappointed with the movie, but it's still a pretty awesome movie.

Kristin Stewart as Bella was amazing. AGRH............. I just can't wait until Breaking Dawn the 4th movie, oh SPOILER ALERT: don't read the read of this paragraph unless you want me to spoil the book for you. I can't wait to see Reneesme Carlie Cullens, ow and I believe that it's totally should be separated as part 1 and part 2, as the part one contains Jacob's story, with Bella&Edward's wedding, and Honeymoon, and the rest of the pregnancy about 1month up until Bella after labor and Jacob walk out to "revenge" Bella, and ended up imprinting on Reneesme. Oh, and the part2 begins with Bella's flash as in Book 3 of Breaking Dawn, the birth and Bella going hunting and turning into a very very excellent vampire, can't wait. Long time, gonna be long long time before this movie was going to be even met, but the thing is that I'm so not expecting the 2nd movie, New Moon bec it consist of mostly about Jacob, ugh annoying, but of course I'm gonna be wondering on how they're going to make the Venturi appear scenes by scenes like the bad/villain vamps from this first movie, James, Victoria, and Laurent just keep on appearing scenes by scenes killing people. Huh.... Anyway the 3rd will be more awesome or so since we got a big battle war scene when the Cullens join forces with the wolf Quilletes clan against Victoria and her newborn vamps.

I hope they keep all the cast of the movie as it is, bec gosh Carlise&Esme it a total Hottie, and Gorgeous. Alice oh, so cute of course, Rosalie's acting also incredible. Twilight is filled with all american actresses and actors beside Robert P as Edward. It's most annoying when the entire women in the studio scream when it was the scenes of first time Edward was entering, seriously. I was like, "ugh, if I only know that we're allow to scream on our favo actress then I would have scream, go Bella, when the entire audience was only going for Edward! And I could have scream like a girl also when the first scene of Bella since I can and I am a total big fan of Kristin Steward and Bella "

Anyway that's my experience on a midnight premiere for the first time, it's not the fancy red carpet thing and no gifts poster or celebrity, but it's nice and awesome to know Twi-Hards are definitely in the house, tonite. And this was the 2nd studio which only filled half of the seat, the third one even have less than 100 people in a theater for 300 bec the 3rd studio just open today, and 2nd one just opened yesterday, and the 1st studio, the sold out one was full with 300 people possibloe even more when I got into the theater my studio was already allowed the people to come in while the other two studio have to wait in a line until the backdoor of the theatre they were suppose to come in with open, just hope I didn't missed anything like free poster or souvenir that was only give to those studio that have a line or else I would have been pissed.

Ok, then that would be all, and I'm glad this movie come out the same date as a very important date in my family, of course my younger brother A2's B'day was 21 of Nov. So , again wanna shout out a Happy 19th B'day to him.
OXOX
Tao Priestess

PS: on more behind the scenes of the movie from the author's story, etc. u can get from her website www.stephaniemeyer.com

Been thinking all day

ok, before I start. Well, I'll just start.

U know that u never know who's who or do u know that u can't pick your friends as much as you can't pick those you fall in love with?

I just come into this conclusion as I was thinking about my friends, and how I came to meet or made a great friendship with them, so far. It was just much surprising that. I realized that most of my very best/ close friend actually come unexpectedly somehow. I mean I have people that I had feelings about becoming good even best friend with, but always somehow it rarely happens or come true. what mostly happen was that those "people" that I got those feeling to get close to with to be best friends with actually are the link for me to meet my current "best/ture" friend. Can u believe that?

I got much example right here:
Prince of The Meanest, I met him by chance when I was thinking of becoming friend with Bule Princess.
Nai come to become my friend bec of I was trying to be best friend with my God sis, Rainy-sis.
Girl-M come to me from lots of various link, apparently she always been around my circle just that we have never been in the same school at the same time.
Merlion comes to me, well bec of Sherlong and PoTM, they do are part of my Best friend cycle, so it's still linking base.
My roommate comes to me because of I was trying to be good friend with his younger bro.
I come to know Red-Hair Girl bec I was trying to be good friend with My-Evil-Twin-Like, but you get the points.

Much of my "true" friends come from that way, and I'm glad that I follow my instinct and was able to found these great friends, I have now come to know and love.

I'm sorry that those "people" who I got those first inctinct to be good friend with, rarely get a true friendship with them, but I'm glad that I tried bec when I don't try I might have never got to know my good friends now.

Some of the special cases was refered to Sherlong. Fate just bring me over to her Again, when
I met her in my high school after almost 12 years since I last saw her.

To TripleRguy, I was following his "path" on somehow we made it to the same school over over and over again. Then again, that was one friendship that might just never went to go "close" with.

My grooms men, Windy and Chrono, came to me in another way.
Windy just happen to fate to sit on the same table as me when I move from KY to TarQ when I got almost no one I know and I was about to start over and being a nerd to focus on education, to finally able to break those top 10 rank in class, which claerly the otherwise happen instead, but I'm glad about it.

So, Windy sat beside me, and I was about to introduce myself when I was thinking about in order to become a good nerd then I wouldn't have time to spend with friends, so I decided not to, and he goes up and introducing myself, and as my nature come in kicking, I replied introducing myself nervously, and I thought that would be all, but after finding out that he lives next block from my house, it's kind of hard not to keep this friendship going, even up unitl now when we're 9000 miles apart and W is busy with her hubby.

Chrono on the other hand. He was sitting across my table and it took me 4 times or more to actually my manage to remember his name.Yeah, my memory was that bad even before I enter Junior High. Somehow, just manage to come close to him when I was trying so hard not to make more friends to focus on my study, but really I'm just really glad, mostly bec without him I'll be missing one more grooms men.

..........................

Ok, now all day I have been thinking about my excitement about Twilight opening in 4days.
And come to think about what kind of souvenir of Twilight T-shirt for my friends.
Makes me thinking about if we were all Twilight's cast then who would be who.
After a while and all day thinking about it, here's all that I come up with:

-Windy as Edward, she's always have been the "star" somehow her personality was always been the main character for every story, it's always "fit" for some reason. Although she's never a good mind-reader was Edward is, but since she is certainly not Bella, therefore she's more Edward although her actions reflect more as Rosalie, but then again if we were to see it from her husband's side, which would be Esme bec her husband is definitely Carlise, then again the first person Carlise bite to turn into a vampire was Edward, so I think Windy is definitely an Edward.

-Chrono as Jasper. I first thought of him as Emmett bec of his "whatever" attitude towards things, but then I thought about Jasper on how both Jasper and Chrono have always those mysterious side, the side where he seems to have expert experiences about things, that rarely people know, the side that makes him more like a wise man every now and then, stopping my fights with Windy everytime we're too childish, to bow down to one another. Which brings me to remember Jasper ability to control the surrounding's: calms people down, etc. So that makes me conclue Chrono is Jasper.

-Girl-M, I thought of no one close to her except for Rosalie, but she's never as tough as Rosalie is even when their's both have the same compassion, so I tried someone else, Esme, but I rethink about it and there's no way M could be Esme, which makes me think of the other parent, Bella's parent, bella's mom to be exact Renee, ow totall hits me, perfect profile. Goddess, so I definitely state Girl-M is Renee, for every single reason there are.

-Nai, this would be kind of confusing bec I don't have much from her to match with anyone. I tried Rosalie bec of her personality, but not much I can confirm with, so do with Esme. I know she's definitely not Renee or Alice and none of the male vampire seems to fit her profile either I dunno about the "wolfes", but the more I think about it, I just can't find more fit, then I totally flash I forgot to compare her to one person Bella, and see much resemblence, but curently not enough information to confirm, so I'm going to say Nai might be Bella or Rosalie, I don't confirm which bec I can't, but maybe she's more Bella.

-Sword Guy is a perfect fit with Emmett. In every aspect, no matter beside the physical a bit less than emmett, his power was bout the same. I would say.

-Our Dangerous Wushu Girl would fit either Bella or Rosalie's profile, but the more I think about it, I would say she's more Rosalie bec for some reason, Bella's profile would be about a somewhat mismatch with her.

Let see I'll think of some more right now.

-Sherlong would be Alice somewhat, busy body, doesn't mean she like it unlike Alice. Not as tough as Rosalie would, also not much of Esme, a different mother figure, I would say. So could be that she's Charlie maybe Bella's dad. NowI'm thinking about mybe her profiling would fit Bella's, but I don't have enought info to confirm, so I guess I'll leave her profile as Charlie, I guess.

-Merlion, tough as Rosalie, caring as Esme, quite a busy body also as Alice, not much as Bella, I think, not much of male vampires as match either not Emmett, not Jasper, not Edward, but could be Carlise. so I dunno either, I'm guess I need for info to profile her into a certain char, but if I gotta pick, I guess she would fit much as Rosalie and Esme. I dunno whether there's too many Rosalie profiling before before, I'm guessing Merlion would be an Esme.

-Prince of The Meanest, not this is a hard one, I'm sure I have more than enough info on to profile him, but kinda hard where to start. he's sort of an Alice in some ways and yet he's kind of like my Edward since he's able to read me much like an open book. Definitely eliminate the parenting figures, so not Carlise, Esme, Charlie, or Renee. He's also not Jacob, not Emmett, nor Bella, but kind of like Jasper and tough as Rosalie, too. Finding a perfect concluding character for him is imposible bec simply not exist, but I guess if I have to pick the closest one to him. It owuld be Rosalie, definitely with some extra from the freaks among freaks, Alice&Edwards, but definitely Rosalie, blonde, pretty with powerful inside and out feature.

-Chenan total Emmett, so a "whetever" attitude, a pothead literally.

-A.I.D. beautiful feature like Alice, well couldn't think of other fit. She's an Alice.


So far I think those would be all the friends I can think of that I need and watch to hold my 21 candles on my Sweet 21 B'day , but won't be happening, since the total of all of them together is less than 21 people, so without my cousins I can't do the cnadle thing, decide on giving up on it since there's so little chances to actually manage to pull through the family+friends party for my Sweet 21, so I'll plan a double party as well, certainly as soon as there would be couple of "failed" to come at a certain time for my sweet 21 party, so I'll just split it into two or more party even though I will be leaving on 27 of jan. On the 26 is Chinese new year, 25jan is my God mom's B'day, so the party should be around 23jan and 24jan. Same as last year probably. No hope no choice so why force it.

Anyway, so I might just bought you all those that I profile you as if the T-shirt are available.
Hehehehe.
ok then
OXOX
Tao Priestess

PS: Just in case you haven't notice or know, I'm pretty sure I fot the profile of Alice, seer, red-head, annoying, busy-body, always want to know even though she's the one that knows most about everything if we exclude Edward and his mind-reading power. Wow, I would say it's so me. Of course I'm not that short and I don't have cute feature and nice red-hair, and my abilify was far from as good as hers, but I'm the perfect same busy-body, planning party,etc Alice's nature. Hehehehe. Am I Alice or what, right right right?

FYI on my DA!

DA, as in gua blg dgn nada berat tp kenceng DA..... or DA!
DA= of course, paling mirip makna nya, tp basically DA tuh buat reassurance check.
kaya kalo ada yg tanya "langit di siang hari tuh biru kan?"
u jawab, "DA!" jd maksud indo, "Yah,Pastilah"

DA! dipake buat reassurance buat hal2 umum, yg harusnya SEMUA org tau, sebagai FAKTA/NYATA kaya yg diatas, tp yah gua tarik2 fungsi kata DA!, well sebetullynya sih ngak sih, DA! is originally come from sarcasm language like when someone ask the same question or a reassurance question like you want that bubble gum? Yes. Bubble Gum? DA! Simplenya sih bgt lah kira2 tp tiap org pake Da! buat maksudnya sendiri. Kalo gua sih kbykan pake DA! to answer Stupid&Reassurance questions and lbh mengarah artinya ke "Yes, u masa ga tau(udah kenal gua sgt lama)(kenal gua gak sih)"

And if u don't or never notice, I only play "nice" mask to stranger or to public ok. If you're in my "inner" circle where I was actually comfortable being myself with someone, I would definitely start ngomong blak2an with sarcasm, balk2an and sarcasm sama gua goes together always, and u can only get them it you're close to me kalo gak I'll play my "nice" mask for stranger, gt lho. If you haven't notice, I only play sarcasm and blunt truth on someone I care at least that how I see it or that how I showing CARE more or less, krn if I don't care all u get would just be the "nice" mask or the stranger mask, ok?

So....Take it as I care when I use Blunt truth on you with sarcasm if not then you're nobody to me.

I am only harsh when I care.(I think)
OXOX
Tao Priestess

PS: Although some sarcasm are just for sarcasm, like when I'm talking about Paris Hilton, but since I take sarcasm as a sign of I care, I'll tone down or deaf-en my interest towards Paris, just in case there wouldn't be no confussion, ok.

Pro and Con

Ok, big issue here on me.
Need some outside opinion to tell me, Somethings I don't know!

I was in a dilemma on staying 4 more years for S2 in Usa, ugh.
So need some outside insight or just some info that could help me or anything that u thought about and plz try to be bias, but I understand if "someone" can't handle "his" emotion after knowing, I did this.

Pros:
-SG is VERY as is VERY HIGHLY acceptance of an American degree(WTH!!!)
-Might get the better or the best jobs to be a professor in a university in SG
-Gotta see Baby DJ grew up up until he's 5years definitely gonna give me some insight and preparation for having a ababy and since he's a BOY, an AMERICAN BOY, more it'll be great to know that my children is going to me much as in much much more easier to handle, since An AMERICAN BOY would be the worst of all kind for "child" caring.
-I knew all the "Dips" as in ?I know what to do, where to go, farmiliar surroundings,etc
-Few places haven't get the chance to visit. Only Seattle and Disneyland+Universal Studio in Florida
-Getting a degree with San Francisco written on it.
-Don't bother my roommate as in having to look for someone to replace me as a roommate.
-My furniture as in bed table and LCD monitor was under 2years of usage
-might get to watch Grey's anatomy til the last season.
-got the earliest movie in cinema for american movie, which was most
-Can try to get Psy(Doctor of Psychology)/S3 for psychology, but gonna mean another 10 years, but assuming USA is the most place I can require one. All S3 outside most likely is Phd(Doctor of philosophy) for mostly every subject beside psychology.
-Moving's all my stuff to elsewhere gonna be a pain.
-

ok, that's all I have so far. Please add something that ?I don't know or didn't even notice. And I'll consider if that would makes sense as in fit my reasoning for ProS.




Now, for the CONs:
+If I were to china for S2,
-I can finally learn Kanji about time I sharpen or master my "family" language
-China cheap for costs at least about half spend than in US, even if I shop til I drop.
-Gets to learn lost traditions
-My God sis is also going to be in CH at that time.
-A Couple of friends there
-I feel more centered and balance since I'm in Asia
-I can quit driving, assuming, public transport or bicycle
-nice food, eatern taste
-feels more RIGHT to be here naturally alone or not, I think
-
any more for this area, tell me plz

+If I were to aussie for S2,
-got the chance to be roommate with my future groom's man, Chrono
-no further language learning require for conversational needs
-Higher acceptance degree from OZ than from CH, I'm assuming, especially on psychology field
-there's family that I hate as usual, but also that I like, too bad they're in the same city, so heading for Perth anyway if I were to be roomate with Chrono
-assuming I can go all the way to Psy if possible they have it even if it will took 10years bec assuming less "stress" and "hatred" towards Aus gonna come since I was originally plan to go for Aus for studying abroad.
-If can manage to sneak in with my PR/greencard, the one that should have been taken away since I haven't been back to Aus since Jan2003, PR min requiremnt is 6months inside Aus per year, then another round of "cheap"er payhment for schools and everything, I assume, but dunno
-Living with someone I love as a friend, not tha tI don't love my roommate now, but they're distant. I'm hoping for a closer relationship with my roommate and since he's my future groom's man, we're close and if we be the prefect roommate and all then I might just give the title for "Best man" to him, big chance really, and I'll be arounf someone who "enjoys" me more or less, he accept and know very well how "wicked my mind could go, and somehow not freaked out, or try to change me. It's a big deal for me, if u guys watched house me and Chrono is more like House and Wilson as in we're "true" friend that somehow manage to be able to stay around each other in whatever situation, sort of. After not seeing him for almost 3 years, another nice way to "catch up", but it' jsut that I expect my roommate & I to be close, we're sort of there, so I'm guessing it'll be a perfect match or fit, maybe.
-So mainly bec Chrono's there, my future groom's man
-
I used to have a bunch of reason why I pick Aussie to go study abroad, somehow manage to forget much, remind me more of what I did and didn't forget if u know.

+Get to go home for vacation more than once a year
+Many asian people around feels naturel more or so
+Can't eat much western food after all western food for USA=fastfood
+Hopefully dropping my "sudden" high blood pressure that exist even since moving to USA
+Chances of finding my future wife is pretty BIG, since it's gong to be easier to find someone that would be willing to move and have a life in SG from Oz or Ch, since SG is going to be even less than 3000 miles away, I assume.
+Leaving all the stress and hatred toward USA means getting healtier mentally and physically
+Not going to be counting the days til I said Asta La Vista
+After the "hell" anywhere, like halfway around the world from it would be totally "heaven"
+It's my pick my choose I'll be willing to be more acceptance of my mistakes, and not blamingit on the "hell" I'm living, since I'm not going to be in "hell" any longer
+Gonna actually manage to get more songs from all over ASIA,europe,Aus, plus "faster" music from USA even,
+Same goes for Movies, Us movies will eventually come in to here, but movies here rarely gets to get into USA
+TV shows from all over the world and can keep in watching my favo US shows from online anyway plus can focus only those I should really wanna watch rather than addicting on everys single shows on TV in order release your "stress" over hating "some" continent
+Better near future rather than suffering for 4 torture years than might just cost me my sanity and going to end up being in Mental Hospital before I can manage to LEAVE "that" continent with a S2
+
anything else u guys could think of for the CONs plz let me know.

OK, that's all ? I can think about now, please help me decide on between there proS and CONs,ok.

The sooner I amke a decision it would be so nice especially to release "stress" especially since next semester would be my last long semester before my May09 S1 graduation and then still staying here up until end of july 09.

So if I was able to decide now, these rest 6 months more or so gonna have to be used for prepareing to move or not bec can't decide on only months before either too short especialy to prepare for moving

Plz let me know anything tha tyou can think of beside what I have listed here.
Thank you so much for your help
OXOX
Tao Priestess

Movie Night

Ir was last week when I was watching Changeling with Red Hair Girl.
She's a big Jolie fan, I love Angie, but for based on true story, and very old settings kind of movie, it's not so much of an interest to watch that movie of hers as much as I just wanna accompany her since no one accepted her offer to watch that movie with her. Well, I thought it was more about a missing child from mother's view that I wans going to watch, but after getting into the mental institution, I just wish I hadn't taken my "Current issue in Psych" class where, the movie was only showing about half of what the mental institution at those time did to their "patients" all mostly wicked kind of experiment starting from the shock therapy of course, but wne t on to, I don't think u wanna know, anyway still not my kind of movie. And I might as well as admit that I was just trying to get some alone time with her, but figures, nothing happen, but that nite after the movie I do finally realize her world and mine although kinda close, but live in a different time more or so. If I had old taste, then she's definitely have older even oldest taste, especially in movies, etc.

Ok, anyway we keep texting each other even after I'm home nad finally got into the "discussion" that I want, which is why she loves it here, and the "ultimate" reason she left Sg. Since this would be the biggest issue if I were to "pursue" this relationship into something more, it won't work since I'm all for Sg in the future. After her "ultimate" reason revealed, my hopes and dream to "pursue" even thought I know it's was a small chance, suddenly all gone, not her fault really she can't control that "reason" nothing she can do to change that "reason" even if she wants too. Since there's no way and I mean it as my "ultimate" OATH to never ever going to stay here longer than necesary, for WHATEVER reason even if it means losing my true love or so, then so it shall be. So, really no way for "us" to happen bec I WON'T change, and she can't change, so yeah I say goodbye, so now we're just girl_friends. Yeeeaaayyy....

PS: It's not like she's going to accpet me, anyway even if I do "change", least likely not(98.1% I'm sured to failed in this one. Doesn't mean I won't try, but my feeling for her can't concure my "alergy" towards this place. So I'm pretty sure I made the right choice after all it it's meant to be, it will be. )
Let's see Now that makes my score for my girl_friends= about 20, I think. My boy_friends=about 10, I think. Great!
Still 0 partner+Ex, yaiy...... NOT. Just....great!

[Anyway for those whose not Taoist or so, might not get this paragraph, just skip it.]
Well, yeah just wondering suhu(master) don't wanna teach me how to Kua Mia(read fortune) bec he's afraid since I'm so young, I'm going to use that technic to "read" my potential future-wife, and since I can, I'll be very Picky. Newsflash, I am picky about everything, is it so wrong to know what I want?! Yeah3, I know we "work" on what we are "given" with, but I don't feel that I was "given" there's no Signs, no sparkle, no butterflies, no nothing, so far for anyone. Then again my "sense" for heart is DULL, as in not working so much. So if it's a real loss, then I'll somehow "express" it automaticly without even knowing what's going on, feel much like an android, but without all the cool android abilities. Ow, well I think I can only accept, what I was truly feel "given" for, to bad that feeling NEVER comes.

OK, tonite just watched 007 with Red Hair Girl, her cousins, My Evil Twinlike& his brother, and Not so Innocent Girl. As I thought not worth watching if only I didn't owe Red Hair Girl for Changeling's movie ticket. My head was spinning maybe vec I was just finally healed from the feel-like-fainting headache 2 days ago, and wathing the camera rolong around round and around just drives me into a Dizzy man.Plus ugh the annoying Gun shooting, ugh plus the car skidding through the street mkaes the perfect ear "ringing" for the entire movie. Dizzy plus ear "ringing" are just a great combination to not enjoy the movie, plus as I was expecting the "gadgets" since the last 007 movie's gadget for Casino Royale sucks figures can't hope for much on this one either. Appearently there are none, no gadgets all I got to see was the nice touch screen magic computer, and the camera not that nice either. Anyway, ugh so sorry I watch this movie, the song is not that nice I would say I prefer Die Another Day for the song, but Alicia's singing it was nice. Still my favo james movie, Tomorow never dies, it got cool gadgets and Michelle Yeoh&Teri Hatcher. Die Another Day also nice, still prefer Pierce Brosnan, but Wish-He's-my-bro said that they made it more action as in physical for this James Bond movie, yeah not much of a big fan of physical action, beside, eastern's kungfu maovies.

Thant's all for my movie nite, can't wait. 5more days til Twilight.
Can't wait
OXOX
Tao Priestess

Why are men such jerks, Justin?

On, on Ellen today Taylor Swift was on and she mention getting dumped by Nick Jonas in 27 seconds on the phone. Ugh, unbelievable.

So Ellen already prepared as surprise for her even before she mention about the break up, she gave her a chance to meet her idol crush, Justin Timberlake.
She was so excited, and all, and saying, "This makes it(the break-up) all better. Justin replied "I...ah....We've all been there, Taylor."
....
Ellen bluntly ask, "Why are men such jerks, Justin? Go ahead."
Justin was like, "Well... why are men.... Where do I start? Well... you know women are... you guys...you ladies are... you're just smarter than us."
Ellen: "Good answer, Justin! Good answer!"
Justin: "And uh... see.. I have accepted that, I have accepted that. I'm more comfortable in my stupidity. I just roll with it, so that makes me less of a jerk."
Taylor: "Really! Wow this is best surprise ever. this is the best day ever!"

You guys can go here to see the video
http://ellen.warnerbros.com/2008/11/taylor_swift_is_surprised_by_h.php

It's just amazing.Oh, my Goddess this is why I love Justin Timberlake bec he's not a stupid guy, he smart to realize that women are much more smarter and men are stupid, and he's definitely a true gentleman for admiting all of this, especially about accepting his stupidity. Plz how ofter do you see any men admit that they're truly stupid on a national telivision. This is why Justin Timberlake is a good idol, and more over a good person for realizing the discrimination of gender, and admiting the truth.

See this is why I go for women bec men are stupid. Thank for clearing it up, JT.
OXOX
Tao Priestess

PS: I don't like country music, I'm a pop kind of girl, but she is amazing check out her latest single "Love Story" lyricing around the story of Romeo and Juliet. The music video was also about awesome! Just check it out the song.

Me on Adulthood, future, etc

Ok, this was starting from my friend's, N and her blog.
She was talking about adulthood, as we get into adulthood we start getting more "quiet" , but somehow I go on on and on into other topics. If you want just read it. It's here.


I mean adulthood was partly created by gaining experience in life, definitely. The other part as gaining moral sense, self identity, and "other" things.

So yeah, by the time we gain much "wiser" or much adulthood, yes we bow down and listen, like "padi makin berisi, makin menunduk" That one kinda make sense, definitely.

I was just thinking that I only will be quiet when I want to listen. And in a true face to face conversation, it's hard to say things like this in written bec usually before I'm even done speaking my point or whatever usually someone else jumps in and make my "melody" stop, and my Attention Deficit Disorder really didn't help much even when I'm speaking and everyone else is only listen I can't even make my point, usually going to go around, and my "lecture" is definitely going to be long and NOT to the point right away bec I always go around and didn't like to skip the DETAILS, of course I love details.

I would say it's wise to say only a 1000 words, but listen to a million words. Then again, I don't think we can't all be a wise man. So I guess u wanna be well do your best, listen more, and speak less, but since maybe nature was in between, I listen as much as I talk, or at least I hope so. Well, I would say I wanna be "wise" of course, but can't really do it, by THAT way ONLY, right?
I'm sure that I can be "wise" and still be me, and if there wasn't any way that it's possible, I will find a way to make it possible.

We all humans have more and less of skill depending on well us, we're born with limitation, but don't let that limitation LIMIT us. Now I'm not saying that Goddess makes mistake when making us or whatever, but I believe ewe are to uncover our own destiny, our own way is the way Goddess want us to DO IT. Because Goddess is always FAIR, CARE, & etc, so it would be impossible for GAYS to exist or for Hermaphrodite or other birth defects to exist, RIGHT?!

But whatever you say or believe it or not, they still do exist, do Goddess want them to suffer with those kind of "percobaan" I don't think so, but I do believe that SHE wants us to create our own destiny despite of what happen to us. I think this is the most make sense for me to believe bec Goddess would not do such things as to create GAYS, hermaphrodite, and other birth defects and let them to be born in the world to be SUFFERED, SACRIFICED, or to be HUMILIATED TO Death, unless you really think that you GODDESS is that cruel SINCE GODDESS don't make MISTAKES, and don't tell me otherwise bec if you believe that GODDESS makes mistake then SHE would not be worth believing in for, I don't think that we want GODDESS that want makes mistake, right! Then again if GODDESS DON'T makes mistakes, how would such SUFFERing for these GAYS, hermaphrodite, and other birth defects would exist.

Well, that's how I come to the conclusion that SHE wants us to find our own destiny with our own way on our own time. That's why I plan for the future, plan for my future, try to control every single aspect that was possible for me to control bec I know that things WOULD go wrong at some point how ever perfectly your plan is, believe me I do, but that's the reason why I try to plan for everything especially since I know everything wouldn't go as I plan, but that doesn't get me to lose the hope on things can still be just the way I plan it. That's why I plan, plan, and plan.
I know things may and will go wrong, but there's 0.001% that things would go as perfectly as I plan, that's why I plan even though, knowingly it might just change or go wrong when executed.
That's all. I don't see the bad, things go wrong of course, but I would say that's what Plan B is for, and Plan C, etc in case things go wrong, DA. that's why I plan so much, people. I also plan to fail, that's why I don't get that stress of my plan going wrong, ok people I have plan B, etc OK... so plz stop telling me not to plan for my life, for my future bec I can't do that and I don't think I will do that ever.
But if you guys are worried, about me only ever going to be basing my decisions by my mind not my heart I will also suffer, yes it's true, definitely. Too bad, I got a bad heart that just won't tell me or won't let me feel on what on the inside of My OWN Heart, I know..., but if I do feel something from my heart that's so strong even my mind knows it before I can feel it, I would go for what's in my heart, no worries on otherwise, but yeah my heart is kind of blind, so yeah I'm going to need help on that part, but it is also bec my heart and also my basic instinct is kind of rusty is the weakness that I have more than normal mind power, I guess or so and I plan plan and plan.

yeah do whatever you guys want to say and do to me, just as long as it doesn't involve telling my to stop planning or stop worrying about the future, it would be impossible for me to do so, I'm sorry.

Hal yg membuat gua membisu..., yah hal2 yg I just don't know or don't care I guess that would make me QUIET since I don't know anything, I just listen, don't u?

If I know something that someone is talking about and they're saying it correctly or the same as I know it then , I can only agree and maybe add on if he/she missed something or so. But mostly listening also.

But when I listen into something that I know about EXPERTLY, and there this other person why just keep on rambling and don't know a thing about what he/she's saying. I definitely would like to slap him, but in order to avoid public humiliation by physical slap, then again I have temper issue, but still controllable so far just enough to turn the BITCHY mode in me ON, too bad my tongue is just one slippery words thrower, I can't rap bec I can't speak that fast, since when I do the word will come out wrong and not make sense or other kind of tongue slip mishap, so not good at tongue wrestling(I don't mean french kissing, never been kissed) I mean words by words cat fights, I can't win bec of my tongue disability.
So only way to win a words cat fights would be yeah, like email blogs, I guess.

So, yeah I give up fights that I know that is not important for me to win, and I do my best to win those that are close to my heart, don't you all?
Well, then again I'm the least most competitive person you'll ever find, I think. I don't have ambition at least really not much, the reason I don't like to compete, but then again it's kinda sucks when your younger brothers gets to looks down at you and walk all over you, but i pick my battles, I don't care maybe if I even lose the war, but I know that there are some battle I just can't afford to lose, and some that I will do my best to win, but I think I'm open to lose the war if it's what it takes to create "peace", really.

Hopefully you guys catch my "drift" on what I want and what I'm willing to sacrifice for, I just don't want you guys to waste your time on somethings that are impossible for me to change. that's all. Thank you for listening
OXOX
Tao Priestess

PS:I can rarely joke bec I'm very bad at making jokes either they're not funny or they're went over and mock people, but you all should already know that by now. So, I can do sarcasm maybe on a literal daily basis, I seem to be good at it, but that's the closest I can ever get for making a joke, ok! So, most of the time when I'm not being sarcastic, I'm not trying to joke and close to being in serious mode at all time. So just don't assume I'm joking, when I'm talking without any sarcasm tone bec most likely I'm not joking, just FYI.

Dr. McDreamy ++

Oh, my Goddess today only Ellen Degeneres Show

Guess Star: Patrick Dempsey (Dr. Derek "Mcdreamy" Shepherd from Grey's Anatomy)











Gosh, damn I so wanna be in Ellen's show. Wanna get his autograph, etc.

So I found out that Dr. Erica Hann's last episode is on tomorow's Grey's Anatomy

And he made a cologne from Avon, titled Unscripted. Can't wait to smell it myself, if I like it, I'm definitely getting it, and it's unisex. Hahaha. Too Bad the pics of him on Ellen's underwear were fake.

Damn, how the hell he come up as no.2 sexiest man alive. I understand when George Clooney's the winner, but Matt Damon, ugh. Ok, come on next edition of Sexiest Man Alive from People Magazine may he Win, and gets to be in the cover, I'm so getting that one and probabaly gonna get the cover page framed. Hehehehe.

I only goes nutty, as a teenage girl, only when it comes to 3 men:
+Julian McMahon(Tv series: Charmed and Nip/Tuck; Movies: Fantastic Four1&2, Premonition)















+Dean Cain (Tv series: Superman: Lois&Clark; Movies: (sorry, forgot the title))






+Patrick Dempsey (Tv series: Grey's Anatomy; Movies: Enchanted, Made Of Honor)








Sorry, my women list is much2 longer so I'll do a blog about it sometimes hopefully with pics.

I'm just a big fan of these 3 and it's a man-crush, like any normal people have well men and boys usual goes for soccer or football or whatever sport player, like:David Beckham, Michael Jordan, and such hottie as George Clooney and Brad Pitt. Also and women have women-crush on like: Angelina Jolie. too bad none of those name I mention in this paragraph is actually on my top list. Too bad, so no spill yet on my women's list. hahaha

owe, I'll just do some pic for this blog.
Enjoy I guess
OXOX
Tao Priestess