Ok, so before I come back and continue on my blog from before I just have to get something out of my chest before the heat is gone.
So Miss Fashion Diva is asking me since I'm a Taoist and Taoism purpose is more towards longevity, then why are you eating all unhealthy food and stuff isn't it against the purpose of of Taoism. Ok, I told her,well also with LaidBackGuy mention that Taoism doing longevity by meditation, and also other ways that I haven't mention like controlling your Chakra/Chi (tenaga dalam) and evrything alike. And Miss FashionDiva then go on saying, "But meditation only makes your mind calms and everything and if you don't eat right then what's the use of a calm min, it can't help you live longer when your liver is broken or you have cancer or any deathly illness." Well she said something like that. And of course stupidly I answer before I realize something, I said, "well, what we believe in mediatation can bring more than calm mind." Then after saying that she said, "Ok, like what, what kind of stories have you heard, about people what do they manage to do with meditation only?" Then finally like and idiot I finally realize, and ask LaidBackGuy, " Is she the kind of person that didn't believe in something, if there wasn't reasearch on it?" He answers, "YES." Da of course, that's why she quits whatever her religion is before Kristen/Catholics whatever, how come I haven't come to this conclusion until now, she doesn't have any faith, well maybe a fashion sense, but definitely not faith. She's totaly live inside a bos that says, "No Proof, No Believing." And she keeps on firing me with, "What have you heard about what meditation can cause." Ok, so I said,"Think of that meditation can cause everything and anything and that the options is unlimited." She said ok, " the option is unlimited, but what have you heard that it could do?" Oh, my Goddess until that time finally I truly realized, nothing I said will never be enough because, she need proof, and FAITH is believe in something that has no proof, believing in higher power that might or might not exist, that's what faith all about isn't it? And I stopped talking bec there's no way to make her understand what I feel, what I believe in, and my faith. Whatever I say wil never be enough. "I give up. Nothing I said will ever be enough because you'll always need proof." I said and then she said, "Well, if meditation can makes me buy a new dress, then I will meditate." Wow, I didn't realize that she can't have faith, but also her priority is absolutely not normal, or crazy. I dunno what else to say to her, and then I said, "Unlimited. It's is a very hard word to understand." to LaidBackGuy, who's wiping his windshield, and enjoy watching our fight and he thinks, it's funny. I also did, but she didn't. WOW, And she said something to her boyfriend and then LaidBackGuy told me what she told him, "she said that even the universe has its limit." Oh, my Goddess." It's like comunicating into a brick wall, no matter how hard you scream unless of course you have "super" voice of some sort it'll never change or budge, it's useless and a waste of time of course. So I know now that unless I give her a prove that she can actually seen/heard before, she won't ever believe even then i'm not sure that she'll believe. Also, well I can't really give her that because I'm not even into that deep into Taoism, yet and so far even anybody I know that is deeprer into taoism that I am haven't heard any magical things/miracles or wahtever that Miss FashionDiva wants as prove. So I totally give up to whatever she wanted to say, and just said, "Wow, i'm just glad that you're major is not art." (bec living in that box would have definitely cut your career even before it begins, and an artist should never have lived in a box bec it means that their inspiration and their mind is limited and it's not something that you want in an artist, right?) Tehn I said to LaidBackGuy, " Do you think this is mhy math is such a hard subject to her bec she didn't get what the hel is infinity means in math." After thinking about it now, I should have said, "I don't get why math is such a hard subject for her bec with all those logic boxes in her mind you would think she could have been a scientiest or a mathematician, like Thomas Alpha Edison or whoever genius, oh Einstein." well whatever, and then when I went to open my house door, Miss FashionDiva roll down her windows, and asking me for more "proof". I said, "have faith and you don't need proof." or something like that. and somehow I stupidly falls and give her and example, like living forever or longevity potion, etc. why do I ever speak in a debate, Hello my mind don't work that fast that's why I always lose to my brothers when it comes to a tongue fight/debate.Da. So I fall into her "trap" and she ask ok, then where is the longevity portion and who have live forever." I said, "I dunno." (Oh,my Goddess wow definitely no faith is inside of her.)"HAVE FAITH!" then, "You're enjoying this,aren't you?" to LaidBackGuy on the driver side. Then she goes on her on "whatever" mode. and they drove away. And I went inside and writing this blog now.
Ok, so do you think that she's right? that no proof, then you won't believe it?
I'm not not saying I'm right either bec I have faith and it don't matter in the end, even if we might know someday that what I believe in is true or not bec it's true for me bec I have have my faith on it, It din't matter, different story with her of course, DA...
Well, I just wanna share this with you all and I didn't have any interntion to start a war on religion or bliefs or whatever bec I'm a feminist and I believe in that it's all about choices and everyone has the right on their own choices, whether you like or not right, they decide their own choices on what to believe and what not, right? or not It don't matter to me.
Ps: I have known Miss FashionDiva for like almost 3 years I would say, and this doesn't cahnge a thing on our friendship don't worry, especially since she doesn't major in religion or arts in that matter, and that her interest are of course fashion, so It didn't matter to her that she can't convince me to not have faith, and so am I vice versa. We'll still be good friends.No Worry.
I know I'm a Taoist no matter what other choose to believe in whatever they wanna believe in.
So OXOX,
Tao Priestess
Sunday, August 31, 2008
WOW
so ok,I never prepared to write this blog this morning, but a surprise thing happen my cellphone was ringing Long Song by Sara Bareiles all morning. It's my text message ring, and I actually thought that my phone has went nuts because it just started playing that song again after 15 the last time I press something to sogn it's ring, and finally I wake up and check if my phone has really gone nuts or something, to my shock I found 1 sms from my friend AccusedLesbianGirl, well that's all I can think for her nickname now, and about 7-17 sms from Merlion, and I thought ow, maybe it's and error messaging where like another friend of mine Girl-M(www.white-cherryblossom.blogspot.com). When she usually message me especially if it's a 2 part sms usually what happen is the first part that went into my phone was 2sms, so it's 2 of the same sms,a nd the 2nd part never arrive or so. But after reading 4-7sms, and none of them are replicas from my friend, Merlion I replied, then continue again reading her sms another 3 then replied again, and by that time she already replied me another 4 new sms. It's very unusual bec I have never actually get that many continuous sms before , I have sent longer one maybe , but never receive one, and now I know how it's felt to be on the other end of the receiving phone, well, maybe if my phone was just vibrating instead of singing it might just be less annnoying I believe. so, after a while and getting the message from her sms about me , being like inconsiderate towards our friend, Prince of The Meanest(www.diamondskin.blogspot.com) I checked my blgo first and find a couple of things Merlion mention and after posting a replied comment on my blogs. I went to my usual routine and check up on Prince of The Meanest's blog(diamondskin) and found out that my friend was blogging about me and how I told him that he's changing and he feels like almost-offended I assume bec he thought that I thought he was on the wrong sinde in the past and now changing into the good/right side. And I was totally never expected this bec I never thought that I commenting/giving compliment or some sort about him changing is making him feel this way, and I'm so sorry and I totally had no intention to make you think that way or even actualy wanted that bec there's no wrong or right in the way of life first of all, but there is a bad and good way to live it, and I told him that I didn't mean for him to feel wronged bec I'm not. all I'm saying from my "applaud" about his changes of behaviour is somehow making me feels like he wants to be a better person that he already was and that's what I'm trying to "Applaud" not that you were not a better person already or some sort, but it's just that seeing him changing like this have totally made me melt and want to try on changing some things of mine that I have a problem with. I'm sorry if it makes him feels anything else other that that from my message. And I just want to made it clear that I have no intention of saying or making him feels the way he feels now. Again I'm sorry, Prince of The Meanest.
And I think I did my best to explain everything on my comment and also try not to make my comment another thing that could mislead my friends of mine what I think about him. And I'm sorry if I still somehow managed to do wrong to you again, somehow, again I'm sorry. All I meant was everything that I write nothing else and nothing more out of it. So apparently MErlion was already commenting on his blog. And my friend Merlion somehow just exploded after reading Prince of The Meanest's Blog about me, which she already knew at that time must just be a missunderstanding , and she scold the both of us,well sort of, and going on about the things about me and Prince of TheMeanest that's is in the past had happen before. I thank her for her intention and her comment although it's a little out of the content of what Prince of the Meanest was talking about me talking about him, but it's the thought that counts, and I thank her, and after publishing my comment on PoTM's blog explaining everything I continue to read Merlion's sms and she's telling me to look at PoTM's blog for more clear on what she was talking about in her sms. LOL. (well, it's what happen most of the time,somehow my "psychic" mind manage to jump through the future without even reading where to go first.)
ok, I GTG, but after I come back I'll tell you about what happens next if anybody still interested and also about my friend's new Blog Girl-M @ www.white-cherryblossom.blogspot.com
XO XO,
Tao Priestess
And I think I did my best to explain everything on my comment and also try not to make my comment another thing that could mislead my friends of mine what I think about him. And I'm sorry if I still somehow managed to do wrong to you again, somehow, again I'm sorry. All I meant was everything that I write nothing else and nothing more out of it. So apparently MErlion was already commenting on his blog. And my friend Merlion somehow just exploded after reading Prince of The Meanest's Blog about me, which she already knew at that time must just be a missunderstanding , and she scold the both of us,well sort of, and going on about the things about me and Prince of TheMeanest that's is in the past had happen before. I thank her for her intention and her comment although it's a little out of the content of what Prince of the Meanest was talking about me talking about him, but it's the thought that counts, and I thank her, and after publishing my comment on PoTM's blog explaining everything I continue to read Merlion's sms and she's telling me to look at PoTM's blog for more clear on what she was talking about in her sms. LOL. (well, it's what happen most of the time,somehow my "psychic" mind manage to jump through the future without even reading where to go first.)
ok, I GTG, but after I come back I'll tell you about what happens next if anybody still interested and also about my friend's new Blog Girl-M @ www.white-cherryblossom.blogspot.com
XO XO,
Tao Priestess
Friday, August 29, 2008
to wait on or to move on?
you all know that I have my dilemma on my dating career, which of course is a totally empty thing since I have never date, not officially anyway. and never have any partner, I don't say boyfriend or girlfriend since English is a very sexist language and I have that when your talking about someone it's just so freaking hard not to label them with gender, I'm a feminist that believe anything a man can do a woman can do, and possibly even better. So I'll be saying partner to replace the word girlfriend or so. ok, so again the dilemma starts when this earlier year my friend FashionDiva introduce me to this girl Acha and hoped that we hit it off, nbut things are just slowly moving since we have never actually met only text messagging, of course until she, what I believe, pretended to tell me that she happen to went to PI that day to look for a B'day present for a friend, then again I was having my B'day party with my friends in Sushi Tei. So in the middle of the party I went out to actually meet her and of course the gift that she was looking for was apparently the gift for my B'day. then I went here to continue my school, and now my friend FashionDiva went back for summer and she get me another gift a forever friend bear's glass. it's cute with note from her saying, "just wanna say hi."
Now I just feel bad about the whole she gave me gifts and I actually missed her B'day and haven't found her a present, so I promise her one, but so far I haven't seen anything that makes me click for her gift, but that's not my problems actually,a t least not the one that I'm concern about it right now? The thing is there is someone else that I'm actually interested in this person is my friend's boyfriends's cousin, RedHead she's just awesome woman, older than me, but I tried to get close to her, but she's just not interested, bec she didn't want to since she's not looking for someone for her until, my friend's boyfriend's younger brother, Billy gets hooked up. The thing is this Billy have never shown any interest into men or women, so we don't know if he's gay or not. So anyway Redhead said that she's old enough to be my mother, um... of course not my mom is 47 and she's like 27 the oldest. It's fine, but she's not interested, so after texting each other and letting her know what kind of person I'm looking for,so now she is totally trying to hook me up with her cousin, TC, who's she said is totally wants the same thing as me, and so I'm not sure, but I guess even if she does want the same thing as me, but my heart isn't with her sort of, so I'm a single with dillema. So I have this thing with Acha, but I think my heart might just be with Redhead, and my interest are with TC. I don't think it's a choose one kind of thing, but it's more complicated it's more like complicated I guess. Well, so now Redhead is offering me to pick Tc up fromt he areport this 18Sep, but I'm afraid it's going to be arward since I dont know TC that well although I must say we're almost i perfect sync when it comes to karaoke, there's this one time I went with her and my friend and her boyfriend. and there's this song wilberpan "Bu De Bu Ai" and I love signing and I remember this song's melody with all my heart, but only the lady part since the man's part is partly rap and I can't rap, and somehow in the middle of singing this song I stopped when the rapping part start bec I can't sing rap, but she manages to fill in the man's part and I complete the lady's part in the back ground all the high and low melody and everything and somehow we managed to end the song perfectly just that she did what I can't and it's just sort of complete me, and of course she's like me love Singapore, so there's no reason for me not to go after her since she does want to live in singapore someday, and so do I , and I actually thought it's impossible to find a girl that want to live i singapore someday especially after been living here in the U.S.A.
So it's it rare to meet someone like her, but she's younger than me she's about 18 and also, what if my heart is not with her can I actually change my heart and what if she doesn't want me. I just duno waht to do I guess just have to let nature takes it course hopefully it's all for the best. Let's see, the first sign would be if I actually get to pick her up from the airport and talk to her and see what's more, but destiny has it's course just hopefuly my red string is somehow attached to her, I guess. I can't control my heart, nobody can, right? That's why the saying goes, " the heart wants what it wants."
Hope for you all to have better luck in finding love than me,
Love is the strongest dope of all, and I haven't even taste it.
Best of all,
OX OX
Tao Priestess
Now I just feel bad about the whole she gave me gifts and I actually missed her B'day and haven't found her a present, so I promise her one, but so far I haven't seen anything that makes me click for her gift, but that's not my problems actually,a t least not the one that I'm concern about it right now? The thing is there is someone else that I'm actually interested in this person is my friend's boyfriends's cousin, RedHead she's just awesome woman, older than me, but I tried to get close to her, but she's just not interested, bec she didn't want to since she's not looking for someone for her until, my friend's boyfriend's younger brother, Billy gets hooked up. The thing is this Billy have never shown any interest into men or women, so we don't know if he's gay or not. So anyway Redhead said that she's old enough to be my mother, um... of course not my mom is 47 and she's like 27 the oldest. It's fine, but she's not interested, so after texting each other and letting her know what kind of person I'm looking for,so now she is totally trying to hook me up with her cousin, TC, who's she said is totally wants the same thing as me, and so I'm not sure, but I guess even if she does want the same thing as me, but my heart isn't with her sort of, so I'm a single with dillema. So I have this thing with Acha, but I think my heart might just be with Redhead, and my interest are with TC. I don't think it's a choose one kind of thing, but it's more complicated it's more like complicated I guess. Well, so now Redhead is offering me to pick Tc up fromt he areport this 18Sep, but I'm afraid it's going to be arward since I dont know TC that well although I must say we're almost i perfect sync when it comes to karaoke, there's this one time I went with her and my friend and her boyfriend. and there's this song wilberpan "Bu De Bu Ai" and I love signing and I remember this song's melody with all my heart, but only the lady part since the man's part is partly rap and I can't rap, and somehow in the middle of singing this song I stopped when the rapping part start bec I can't sing rap, but she manages to fill in the man's part and I complete the lady's part in the back ground all the high and low melody and everything and somehow we managed to end the song perfectly just that she did what I can't and it's just sort of complete me, and of course she's like me love Singapore, so there's no reason for me not to go after her since she does want to live in singapore someday, and so do I , and I actually thought it's impossible to find a girl that want to live i singapore someday especially after been living here in the U.S.A.
So it's it rare to meet someone like her, but she's younger than me she's about 18 and also, what if my heart is not with her can I actually change my heart and what if she doesn't want me. I just duno waht to do I guess just have to let nature takes it course hopefully it's all for the best. Let's see, the first sign would be if I actually get to pick her up from the airport and talk to her and see what's more, but destiny has it's course just hopefuly my red string is somehow attached to her, I guess. I can't control my heart, nobody can, right? That's why the saying goes, " the heart wants what it wants."
Hope for you all to have better luck in finding love than me,
Love is the strongest dope of all, and I haven't even taste it.
Best of all,
OX OX
Tao Priestess
To compromise or to be compromise
My day today was actually quite well, so far tonight I managed to watch the funny movie House bunny. Anna Farris is so funny. I just can't stop laughing during the whole entire movie. It amazing, I really think you all should watch it. So I went with my couple friends, FashionDiva and LaidBackGuy. They have been dating for over a year. And currently facing problems, kind of serious, but I really have high hope that they will be able to make it and compromise into each other. It just really get me thinking about compromising for someone you love is there any limit to it, or do we just compromise until we're the one that become compromised one. I mean could there be a line in compromising for someone, and if there is where would the line be at? Is it over the line to compromise your family, your dreams and your needs for someone that you love? or is it still not enough? or could it be that we can only compromise for the other one because we're madly in love with him/her, but he/she is in love with his /herself?
I don't know is it okay to actually change who you truly are for someone that loves you or should someone that loves you, should loves you the way you are and change nothing?
I dunno which is the right answers and yet I do feel that when you change something that's true to yourself it might just changes those things that makes our partner fall in love with us in the first place, but if we don't change then how do we stop annoying our partner with those stuff that drives them crazy, like: never put the toilet seat down, etc
I wanna know which is the truth not only bec I'm going to be a marriage counselor someday, but also bec I want to have a great relationship with someone and be able to be a part of someone, and still keeping true to yourself? But is there actually any way to know which one is right for you and which one is right for your partner. Is there anyway to do something right on the matter ot tro compromise or to be compromised? or maybe the answers are all along with us, or maybe just in time it shows itself, but how can I know for sure about compromising for someone? is it my heart will tell me what to do, but isn't mind should also be part of the compromising? I need help if any of you can actually tell me more about this compromising matter please leave a comment.
Thank you all for listening, until my time to decide how to compromise for someone, I'm just running through this matter in my thoughts.
For my friends, I hope you all have better luck in love.
OX OX
Tao Priestess
I don't know is it okay to actually change who you truly are for someone that loves you or should someone that loves you, should loves you the way you are and change nothing?
I dunno which is the right answers and yet I do feel that when you change something that's true to yourself it might just changes those things that makes our partner fall in love with us in the first place, but if we don't change then how do we stop annoying our partner with those stuff that drives them crazy, like: never put the toilet seat down, etc
I wanna know which is the truth not only bec I'm going to be a marriage counselor someday, but also bec I want to have a great relationship with someone and be able to be a part of someone, and still keeping true to yourself? But is there actually any way to know which one is right for you and which one is right for your partner. Is there anyway to do something right on the matter ot tro compromise or to be compromised? or maybe the answers are all along with us, or maybe just in time it shows itself, but how can I know for sure about compromising for someone? is it my heart will tell me what to do, but isn't mind should also be part of the compromising? I need help if any of you can actually tell me more about this compromising matter please leave a comment.
Thank you all for listening, until my time to decide how to compromise for someone, I'm just running through this matter in my thoughts.
For my friends, I hope you all have better luck in love.
OX OX
Tao Priestess
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Screw it, I'm screwed?
Well, as you all know this week I'm trying to add classes so that I can graduate on time, May 2009, but I'm afraid that it might not going to happen just yet. Since there is this morning class that I needed and so far it's not offered in spring and I'm thinking it's also not offered in summer, so I figure for now it's only offered in fall Demeter, but with the early morning timing ,which is 9.35-10.50. I really2 have a bad time with morning classes since 1st I'm not a morning person of course. The last time I take morning classes I ended up with missing half from all the class meeting and also ended up with a "C" great and that's only bec I love the subject taught on that class and it manages me to read the book and everything, also with all the points deducted from turning my assignment late. So I finally decided why do ?I even going to take this morning class if I'm surely going to miss half of the class meeting and weren't able to do well on it it'll only hurt me, and my GPA(Grade point average) can't suffer anymore than it already is, especially if ?I'm going to get my master's or S2. I need to be on top of my game in my school work and besides that I aiming to get a great internship, so to help my resume and everything and I figure maybe if I were to stay a couple of months more or even until the year end of 2009 (Yuck!)
That.... maybe..... it.... won't be .................................................S o .............Bad?
well, I'm going getting shivers from saying it, but I do know what other worse thing that could happen that I cant step up and take up the challenge to graduate from a bachelor/S1 even more S2/Master's
So I guess I just have to suck it up, and step up from here, since even if my mom will be yelling and she will about me taking a year more in college that my cousin Lady or even about now paying 6 more monthly rent for me to late graduate, just hopefully I got a great internship to back up my decision, or if not then I just have to graduate with shame, since I don't have anything useful to help me backed up my late graduation decision, so I'm hoping for all the best and i wish you all can wish me a good luck on my study and that it maybe worth it to graduate later than may 2009. Hiks4... I might not have the choice. I really just hope that I do make the right decision about this. Ans as soon as this day is over my effort to add more class will be over, maybe, since the monday class I'm trying to add is not going to be in session until September 8th since next monday is The Labor day, it's a holiday. So anyway, today at school I'm going to have to attend my scheduled class and take off in the middle of the class to attend my once only online class meeting in another class, and then hit the bookstore before the closed and get all my books for the classes that I'm in so far and go me get some more rest since this weekend is going to be H.A.R.S.H.
I have to:
-Finish that half final paper from my summer class that my teacher are giving me an incomplete grade for
-Unpack my luggage from my holiday to Atlanta, yes I haven't unpack
-go to temple and pray for the well being of my roommate's baby, and my families
-Since apparently from a couple of class that I have attend it seems like although the last day of class for fall is at 15th August, 16-22 august if the final week, most of my class use the last day for class for finals and stuff rather than on final week so it that applies to all my classes then I" might just be able to get my holiday earlier by one week extra week in singapore would be heaven, and because of that I might just decided to come back to indo at 26 dec rather than 1jan 2009. So absolutely change my flights tickets home to Asia
-Clean my room
-check all my mail
-prepare to pay next month rent.
-get my car's window tint dark, very dark the sun over here is so cruel and especially witht the dry weather where I have to wear lotion from fall-spring and sunblock for summer, unlike in indo and sing where it's humid. And I don't get why people think humid it's abad think so u sweat a little, big deal, do u know that sweat throws out all the toxin that's from your body and skin, also it's meant to cool you off, so you won't get heat stroke/ you brain get's fried during summer time like this, and you were wondering why people is getting heat stroke over here where it's dry and not at florida where it's hot, Da... bec florida is like Indo it's also humid, so people sweat.
Freaking idiotic american, plus including my most feisty cousin, Lady who's now in UCLA, who absolutely willing to get a heat stroke just because it's less sweaty.
-get my car wash
-return all my friend's stuff in my garage
-clean out my Dvr of old shows so that it have enough space for the premiere week in the last week of september where all my life support or favorite shows come back on TV. Oh, Grey's Anatomy including the earliest season premiere for fall shows, the very infamous, mind-blowingly inappropriate, Gossip Girl
-Schedule my study time for reall because this is when I can't actually just pull my paper out on an all -niter effort, so definitely divide my study time graciously.
-Take a lot of kg out before went back to Asia, my health is just getting worse and worse with all the fatty food that of course Us, only have. I'm starting to get a high blood pressure like my dad and it's bad... really2 bad.
-Get some support for my stress, which mean hitting the cinema to watch House Bunny, and also Hamlet 2/Disaster movie for a very2 good laugh
-what else, well, trying to concentrate less on the future and more on the present, I guess, rite?
And of course I only decided to make a couple of the effort listed here bec of my good friend Prince of The Meanest(www.diamondskin.blogspot.com) who have change so much and definitely makes me want to change and be a better person. Goddess know I wouldn't do half of the stuff on thst list, but together we will step up and be EXTRA-ORDINARY, and of course if the "old" Prince of 'The Meanest is reading this he would definitely say, "Like I wasn't extra-ordinary already!"
I hope the best for both of our effort and wish that all of our friend will support us until the "end."
Best wishes to you too, Sherlong and Merlion
PS:Together we can be extra-ordinary just by supporting each other. So I thank you all.
until next time,
OX OX
Tao Priestess
That.... maybe..... it.... won't be .................................................S o .............Bad?
well, I'm going getting shivers from saying it, but I do know what other worse thing that could happen that I cant step up and take up the challenge to graduate from a bachelor/S1 even more S2/Master's
So I guess I just have to suck it up, and step up from here, since even if my mom will be yelling and she will about me taking a year more in college that my cousin Lady or even about now paying 6 more monthly rent for me to late graduate, just hopefully I got a great internship to back up my decision, or if not then I just have to graduate with shame, since I don't have anything useful to help me backed up my late graduation decision, so I'm hoping for all the best and i wish you all can wish me a good luck on my study and that it maybe worth it to graduate later than may 2009. Hiks4... I might not have the choice. I really just hope that I do make the right decision about this. Ans as soon as this day is over my effort to add more class will be over, maybe, since the monday class I'm trying to add is not going to be in session until September 8th since next monday is The Labor day, it's a holiday. So anyway, today at school I'm going to have to attend my scheduled class and take off in the middle of the class to attend my once only online class meeting in another class, and then hit the bookstore before the closed and get all my books for the classes that I'm in so far and go me get some more rest since this weekend is going to be H.A.R.S.H.
I have to:
-Finish that half final paper from my summer class that my teacher are giving me an incomplete grade for
-Unpack my luggage from my holiday to Atlanta, yes I haven't unpack
-go to temple and pray for the well being of my roommate's baby, and my families
-Since apparently from a couple of class that I have attend it seems like although the last day of class for fall is at 15th August, 16-22 august if the final week, most of my class use the last day for class for finals and stuff rather than on final week so it that applies to all my classes then I" might just be able to get my holiday earlier by one week extra week in singapore would be heaven, and because of that I might just decided to come back to indo at 26 dec rather than 1jan 2009. So absolutely change my flights tickets home to Asia
-Clean my room
-check all my mail
-prepare to pay next month rent.
-get my car's window tint dark, very dark the sun over here is so cruel and especially witht the dry weather where I have to wear lotion from fall-spring and sunblock for summer, unlike in indo and sing where it's humid. And I don't get why people think humid it's abad think so u sweat a little, big deal, do u know that sweat throws out all the toxin that's from your body and skin, also it's meant to cool you off, so you won't get heat stroke/ you brain get's fried during summer time like this, and you were wondering why people is getting heat stroke over here where it's dry and not at florida where it's hot, Da... bec florida is like Indo it's also humid, so people sweat.
Freaking idiotic american, plus including my most feisty cousin, Lady who's now in UCLA, who absolutely willing to get a heat stroke just because it's less sweaty.
-get my car wash
-return all my friend's stuff in my garage
-clean out my Dvr of old shows so that it have enough space for the premiere week in the last week of september where all my life support or favorite shows come back on TV. Oh, Grey's Anatomy including the earliest season premiere for fall shows, the very infamous, mind-blowingly inappropriate, Gossip Girl
-Schedule my study time for reall because this is when I can't actually just pull my paper out on an all -niter effort, so definitely divide my study time graciously.
-Take a lot of kg out before went back to Asia, my health is just getting worse and worse with all the fatty food that of course Us, only have. I'm starting to get a high blood pressure like my dad and it's bad... really2 bad.
-Get some support for my stress, which mean hitting the cinema to watch House Bunny, and also Hamlet 2/Disaster movie for a very2 good laugh
-what else, well, trying to concentrate less on the future and more on the present, I guess, rite?
And of course I only decided to make a couple of the effort listed here bec of my good friend Prince of The Meanest(www.diamondskin.blogspot.com) who have change so much and definitely makes me want to change and be a better person. Goddess know I wouldn't do half of the stuff on thst list, but together we will step up and be EXTRA-ORDINARY, and of course if the "old" Prince of 'The Meanest is reading this he would definitely say, "Like I wasn't extra-ordinary already!"
I hope the best for both of our effort and wish that all of our friend will support us until the "end."
Best wishes to you too, Sherlong and Merlion
PS:Together we can be extra-ordinary just by supporting each other. So I thank you all.
until next time,
OX OX
Tao Priestess
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Back to school
ok, after resting or less than 10days on my holiday also minus time wasted on my youngest cousin.
I'm finally back in SF well 1 hour away from the actually city,but yeah I'm back here in the Bay Area.Yesterday my 1st day of school didn't start so well, although I'm getting good at waking up 9 a.m. in the morning for those of u that knows me definitely sure that it's a very hard thing to do for me, but I'm glad no I can wake up earlier than usual, but still not early enough, I'm only register for 4 class this semester and 2 of them are about the same time so, i seriously need to drop 1 of my classes and there is about 12 classes that I have to manage to pass in order to graduate next year on may 2009. So I was thinking of doing 6 classes this fall and another 6classes next spring,and so if I were to fail or drop 1/2 two classes at that time I can still graduate on may 2009 just have to owe 1/2 classes and took them on summer 2009 a month or 2 extra here, ugh as much as I don't like it I don't seem to have any other choices since my counselor told me that it's impossible for someone to do 6 classes on a semester well not with good grades anyway, but I told them of course I know that and I know my limitation if I can't handle it then of course I'll drop a class or so.
Now my dilemma is to add a couple of classes this week, but have to make sure those classes are not in the morning, of course and also that those classes are not offered in summer, bec the classes that is offered in summer I can just take it in the summer after graduation if I have to, so that I won't owe classes after graduation that's only offer in fall or spring then I'm totally screwed bec it means staying her for at least 6 more months or maybe even a year and I could cry, although I can't cry, see it's that bad. Ugh, ok so there's this class today that it's not offered in summer and and might not be offered in spring either, and I know the teacher is amazing, but if I add this class then I will be going to school on Monday-Thursday, and it usually won't be a problem except that my school is 45 mins away, so lessening my trip to school by a day is totally a great move to lessen my gasoline intake, but I guess I'll just have to try and see if I can actually add the class first since it's full, so wish me luck I guess
Ciao, OXOX
Tao Priestess
I'm finally back in SF well 1 hour away from the actually city,but yeah I'm back here in the Bay Area.Yesterday my 1st day of school didn't start so well, although I'm getting good at waking up 9 a.m. in the morning for those of u that knows me definitely sure that it's a very hard thing to do for me, but I'm glad no I can wake up earlier than usual, but still not early enough, I'm only register for 4 class this semester and 2 of them are about the same time so, i seriously need to drop 1 of my classes and there is about 12 classes that I have to manage to pass in order to graduate next year on may 2009. So I was thinking of doing 6 classes this fall and another 6classes next spring,and so if I were to fail or drop 1/2 two classes at that time I can still graduate on may 2009 just have to owe 1/2 classes and took them on summer 2009 a month or 2 extra here, ugh as much as I don't like it I don't seem to have any other choices since my counselor told me that it's impossible for someone to do 6 classes on a semester well not with good grades anyway, but I told them of course I know that and I know my limitation if I can't handle it then of course I'll drop a class or so.
Now my dilemma is to add a couple of classes this week, but have to make sure those classes are not in the morning, of course and also that those classes are not offered in summer, bec the classes that is offered in summer I can just take it in the summer after graduation if I have to, so that I won't owe classes after graduation that's only offer in fall or spring then I'm totally screwed bec it means staying her for at least 6 more months or maybe even a year and I could cry, although I can't cry, see it's that bad. Ugh, ok so there's this class today that it's not offered in summer and and might not be offered in spring either, and I know the teacher is amazing, but if I add this class then I will be going to school on Monday-Thursday, and it usually won't be a problem except that my school is 45 mins away, so lessening my trip to school by a day is totally a great move to lessen my gasoline intake, but I guess I'll just have to try and see if I can actually add the class first since it's full, so wish me luck I guess
Ciao, OXOX
Tao Priestess
Sunday, August 24, 2008
End of my vacation+ sooo...... bitching about U.S.A.... baka
I'm at my very last nite here in Atlanta , Georgia.
Well, I definitely have a good rest / break from school hopefully it's really enough to recharge me back to be able to tackle 6classes back at SFSU(San Francisco State University) this fall semester, also with whatever volunteer/internship that might come by suck the rest of my time away , so that I might not have a life or have enough time for catch up on my shows in TV, causing me to stress out and either have a stroke, heart-attack, or my mind literally blow and I ended up in mental hospital, but the good news is I have about 9-10months left for my time in this freaking continent. And it just makes me wonder where would I be next year,working on my master's degree. Maybe in china or in Australia since I have a greencard for aus(hopefuly still) I can go there, but in china I could finally learn some kanji(chinese characters), well my dream would be to japan, but I decided not to settle in japan a long time ago, since the living cost over there is actually even could be more than in U.S.A. I figure it's not worth it. So I decided just to dream of living one year in japan where I get to feel all the 4 season, where it clearly snows unlike in california, and of course all the amazing traditions, new year's watching sunrise,eating traditional dishes, gone to temple to pray for a good luck for this year, then white day, of course, the only time I get to make chocolate and give it to all of those I care about. spring season where the sakura is blooming and having a picnic and eating bento, tabatana? festical (I completely forget how to spell it, it's where you buy a bamboo tree and stick a wooden plate on it's leaves and you write your wishes on that place and in the old times people will throw it to the river at nite where the moon have rise, and I also forget it's its at spring or fall or maybe even summer, sorry, didn't remember clearly of this tradition. and then summer where u get to go to festival at temples where they have all this fun games and amazing food, and closed with a great fireworks, the hottest day of summer where it's trasition to enjoy a very good unagi rice plate/bento on that day, come fall where the leaves have fallen and you'll have some of great danceing around a big fire festival(or was this at summer too, sorry completely forgot) and then comes winter where the snow falls and you get to enjoy a lot of different other stuff, it's just all so wonderfull and I would like one year just one year to live in japan, hopefully Tokyo, but again it's just a dream, one that I'm fine with even if it'll never come true, I guess.
Again I'm up for anywhere in Asia and maybe australia since it's so close to my family and friends in indonesia for my next year adventure, but of course before all of that could happen I would have to passed through this fall and spring semester and hopefully without another summer, but who knows maybe when worse comes to worst.
Well, I definitely have a good rest / break from school hopefully it's really enough to recharge me back to be able to tackle 6classes back at SFSU(San Francisco State University) this fall semester, also with whatever volunteer/internship that might come by suck the rest of my time away , so that I might not have a life or have enough time for catch up on my shows in TV, causing me to stress out and either have a stroke, heart-attack, or my mind literally blow and I ended up in mental hospital, but the good news is I have about 9-10months left for my time in this freaking continent. And it just makes me wonder where would I be next year,working on my master's degree. Maybe in china or in Australia since I have a greencard for aus(hopefuly still) I can go there, but in china I could finally learn some kanji(chinese characters), well my dream would be to japan, but I decided not to settle in japan a long time ago, since the living cost over there is actually even could be more than in U.S.A. I figure it's not worth it. So I decided just to dream of living one year in japan where I get to feel all the 4 season, where it clearly snows unlike in california, and of course all the amazing traditions, new year's watching sunrise,eating traditional dishes, gone to temple to pray for a good luck for this year, then white day, of course, the only time I get to make chocolate and give it to all of those I care about. spring season where the sakura is blooming and having a picnic and eating bento, tabatana? festical (I completely forget how to spell it, it's where you buy a bamboo tree and stick a wooden plate on it's leaves and you write your wishes on that place and in the old times people will throw it to the river at nite where the moon have rise, and I also forget it's its at spring or fall or maybe even summer, sorry, didn't remember clearly of this tradition. and then summer where u get to go to festival at temples where they have all this fun games and amazing food, and closed with a great fireworks, the hottest day of summer where it's trasition to enjoy a very good unagi rice plate/bento on that day, come fall where the leaves have fallen and you'll have some of great danceing around a big fire festival(or was this at summer too, sorry completely forgot) and then comes winter where the snow falls and you get to enjoy a lot of different other stuff, it's just all so wonderfull and I would like one year just one year to live in japan, hopefully Tokyo, but again it's just a dream, one that I'm fine with even if it'll never come true, I guess.
Again I'm up for anywhere in Asia and maybe australia since it's so close to my family and friends in indonesia for my next year adventure, but of course before all of that could happen I would have to passed through this fall and spring semester and hopefully without another summer, but who knows maybe when worse comes to worst.
But that the basic plan ,but I get to celebrate my sweet 21 in between the fall and spring semester, I wasing hoping to celebrate in Taipan in WTC since the food is amazing and there is kareoke machine, but too bad I believe that they don't have enough space inside a room for 5o people so, I dunno where to go now, I would go to Raja Kuring if I haven't celebrated my 20th B'day there with my family. MAybe my apartment again, although we already have so many party over there, my farewell party, freddy's farewell party, and some other party I don't quite remember. I dunno my friends seems to like having the party at my apartment, but I think it too small to have 50+ people over,and I can't do all the traditional like sweet 17 stuff like blowing out 21 candles and stuff if I don't mix my friends and family I only have 15 cousins, and not even all present at that time, 2 brothers, and I dunno how many of my friends will come,but I'm guesing it's going to be less than 21 person, so I gotta mix it in, and also I wanna have a dancefloor and my apartment doesn't really have the over the noise limit policy since my neighbor down or upstairs can complain, and it's not really club light material, my karaoke room, also since it only have lame/old chinese&english songs that I have never heard of half of it, so it's going to need some adjustment or I probably could rent a hotel ballroom it'll be great, but I'm not so sure the food's going to be great and 50+ is kind of small party for a hotel ballroom place, I dunno if my dad would even ever let me get it,also it just makes it all so formal I don't want all those formal stuff I don't need everyone to be wearing tuxedos and dresses, I want it to be more casual, but not too casual hopefully, but still, I mean, my best man Chenan can be d Mc he's amazing at that also my best friend Windy, I dunno yet if Chrono would be able to make it, he's doin some prep for applying greencard in aus. Prince of The Meanest told me he'll be there, also another extra celebration for him, my our other 2 friends Sherlong and Merlion in our favo japan restaurant, but I told him that probably it'll have to be earlier than my B'day, but since it's not yet my B'day it doesn't count a a B'day celebration since it's bad luck to have an earlier B'day celebration it's like cutting your age earlier when u're suppose to still be 19, u celebrated becoming a 20 stuff like that, and also I really don't have time23 is my B'day and then 25 is my God mother's B'day I meant to delay my stay in indo for that but since my class start at 26, I booked a flight GOING to U.S.A.( I would never say Going BACK to U.S.A. bec it's not my home and certainly not a place I want to be at, so never say back. In fact once I get out of this continent, I certainly won't be COMING ever again for whatever reason) at the same day, but my mother just told me that Chinese new year is going to be on the 26, so I'm so changing my tickets to 27, since I haven't celebrate chinese new year for over 2 years fraking idiot us, didn't even know it, so I suffer for most of my years here not celebrating chinese new year, not getting angpau, etc. So I'm most certainly not going to missed it especially it's so damn close, hopefully I won't get dropped just because I didn't attend the 1st and 2nd day of my classes. I just can't wait to celebrate it since my worst year will be over then this years have been so much for me to handle it's kind of a bad luck year for me and others who happen to be shio/chinese zodiak of rabbit. Yeah it's just so rough, the first 13 date after the previous chinese new year I got into a car accident right after I just finished reparing my car from the previous accident, it's just unbelievable.
So besides my very resting vacation minus my very annoying "AMERICAN" cousin, that girl need some serious discipline. I enjoy my time here and my last night here I get to watch the amazingly wonderful closing ceremony of the 2008 Beijing Olympic plus the highlights for, of course, "American's best effort", michael P making a history with 8 golden medals, shawn J wins 4 medals, 1 gold for gymnastic, all that stuff.that clearly highlights American da I'm in America and it's the most selfish country ever.... And Saying that they won the olimpic bec that have most medals total, although we all know that the country that wins is China since The grab the most golden medals, da.... BAKA.
But it have gotta be the most wonderful closing ceremony ever and especially since no other country can ever top it , since of course it's only something that only China can do, da....
I miss the opening ceremony since I'm totally occupied with my final at that time, so and crap. I haven't did anything about the final paper for my incomplete grade for my current issues in psych class, but that's is if the teacher will still accept it, also with my JPeT, some kind of english test for my school, I believe it's totally easier to actually just attend the class that I have to attend if I fail the test, but since like only a very low % of student could actually passed the test I'm surely not going to passed it I think. I'll have to look in on that right after I come back. It'll be great if I can take the class this semester rather than my last semester in SFSU, and I'm also missing 1 other general class, that I have jsut have some much troubles with it;s a Political science class I hate that crap since for ever only in indo it's called PPKN, so I'm going to take it in my old community college, which is close to home rather than SFSU , which is a 44miles or 66km drive it took about 45 minutes, and in indo it's like driving from jakarta to bogor or even bandung it is that far imagine if u're here in this stupid country that is so big that if you don;t have a car basically it like not having feet bec u can't go anywhere the public transportation sucks besides San Francisco and Manhattan,New York. It took 1 hour for a bus to come through they put the schedule over there on what time are they coming, but if you came a little late you missed the bus except if the bus is late too, but it if come early/on time, but the bus never come until the next hour or two it's probably bec the bus just passed by before u make it into the bus stop or that there's no bus running in those time, either way it screwed your whole entire schedule if the bus comes early, late or didn't even show up at all. Very Idiotic.
Unlike in Japan,China and of course the best public transportation in the whole wide world, Singapore. the buses comes often,s o if u missed the bus the next one is just a 10 mins wait, and alos MRT/subway it very punctual, when it said that it'll arrive in 2 mins it will. and there every train in about 5mins in between. How amazing is that and the Taxi still the cheapest taxi rate in the world and still this is just after the taxi rate just went up about 40% . It's the best place for me to be since I hate driving and loves walking.
And sems like every one of my cousins that were born here is just have these stupid idotic "american" attitude that I just wanna slap, and strangle out of them. I hate them so much.
Of course, the reason I will never ever have a family here. Stupid culture and idiotic country.
Again as I mention the only good thing they have is movies and Tv shows, or at least used too, now mostly they just copied everything from somewhere else like books, most of international best selling Twilight, etc. And some from foreign Tv Shows/Movies. Like: The Departed, oh my freaking Goddess It's a rip off from a very famous Hong Kong movie Infernal Affairs starring Andy Lau, the great actor of his time. and turned into A leonardo Decaprio movie, It won all the Oscar stuff, but no recolection of crediting it to the orginal or even mentioning that it was a remake as if they could have ever thought of such briliant movie, The Ring, it's form a Japanese horror movie Sadako, and please we in Asia dominated the best scary movies. American just rip it all off like the Grudge. Ugh, it just makes me sick ,although I'm totally not a fan of action movies and horror, and one of my favorite tv shows rite now the secret life of an american teenager, please American it's a free country that they even have school for soon-to-be teenage mothers, it's nothing compared to Pernikahan dini, an Indonesian Tv shows portraying Famous Actress/Singer, Agnes Monica in to the role of a teenage getting pregnant out of marriage in a country when it's is sin to have sex before marriage, imagine the total different scenarios and pressure that she gotta face, it's nothing compare to the normal american teenager getting pregnant in high school story. Please... (Althought I love The secret life of an American Teenager since it's so funny and romantic love story in it.)
And now the most recent stuff is creating tv show/movies from best selling series novels, The Cheetah Girls,Twitches, Gossip Girl, Lipstick Jungle, etc.
Not that they are not amazing, but are the used to be great movies maker/Hollywood are now crumbling down of fresh ideas and went to alternatives. I'm just saying I'm not complaining at all.
But again that all america is famous for and I cherrish those stuff as my life support through out my stay here in the freaking Us. I hope to leave A.S.A.P. Hopefully I'm blessed to do so and finally will be able to get my higher education somewhere different somewhere where people aren't as ignorant as people in here somewhere warm and where I feel welcomed somewhere where I can eat what I like, Asian food especially Japanese and Chinese, and somewhere I belong
Somewhere where I know I won't go crazy or mad and somewhere where my health would go to a better place, unlike in here of course whenever I come here from my vacation in Asia, I always instantly gain over 5pounds and those 5 pound that I "worked" to lose,well sort of on my vacation in Asia, Singapore and Indonesia. My first month after I come here I gain like 8KG and after the first year I gain 13KG and that's 30pounds. And You think I was over reacting about my health weight issue, and just blaming US, I blame because there's a reason to blame my health issues on to US. It's because It is what Us makes me. Please why would I ever blame the innocent one?
Basically I don't understand why some of my family members are sooo... interested in living here or having a life here, and my friends when I have told them that there have been nothing good happen to me since I move here and I think it will never be if I keep on staying here.
I guess Good Luck to all that dreams to have a life here, you all will need it bec it's not easy and never going to be, at least for me. I will never understand why anyone would ever want to live like american do, but then again not all of you ever understand why I want to live in singapore, so it's a vice verca thing. I'll never get you guys and you'll never gets me, am I right? or am I not wrong?
So besides my very resting vacation minus my very annoying "AMERICAN" cousin, that girl need some serious discipline. I enjoy my time here and my last night here I get to watch the amazingly wonderful closing ceremony of the 2008 Beijing Olympic plus the highlights for, of course, "American's best effort", michael P making a history with 8 golden medals, shawn J wins 4 medals, 1 gold for gymnastic, all that stuff.that clearly highlights American da I'm in America and it's the most selfish country ever.... And Saying that they won the olimpic bec that have most medals total, although we all know that the country that wins is China since The grab the most golden medals, da.... BAKA.
But it have gotta be the most wonderful closing ceremony ever and especially since no other country can ever top it , since of course it's only something that only China can do, da....
I miss the opening ceremony since I'm totally occupied with my final at that time, so and crap. I haven't did anything about the final paper for my incomplete grade for my current issues in psych class, but that's is if the teacher will still accept it, also with my JPeT, some kind of english test for my school, I believe it's totally easier to actually just attend the class that I have to attend if I fail the test, but since like only a very low % of student could actually passed the test I'm surely not going to passed it I think. I'll have to look in on that right after I come back. It'll be great if I can take the class this semester rather than my last semester in SFSU, and I'm also missing 1 other general class, that I have jsut have some much troubles with it;s a Political science class I hate that crap since for ever only in indo it's called PPKN, so I'm going to take it in my old community college, which is close to home rather than SFSU , which is a 44miles or 66km drive it took about 45 minutes, and in indo it's like driving from jakarta to bogor or even bandung it is that far imagine if u're here in this stupid country that is so big that if you don;t have a car basically it like not having feet bec u can't go anywhere the public transportation sucks besides San Francisco and Manhattan,New York. It took 1 hour for a bus to come through they put the schedule over there on what time are they coming, but if you came a little late you missed the bus except if the bus is late too, but it if come early/on time, but the bus never come until the next hour or two it's probably bec the bus just passed by before u make it into the bus stop or that there's no bus running in those time, either way it screwed your whole entire schedule if the bus comes early, late or didn't even show up at all. Very Idiotic.
Unlike in Japan,China and of course the best public transportation in the whole wide world, Singapore. the buses comes often,s o if u missed the bus the next one is just a 10 mins wait, and alos MRT/subway it very punctual, when it said that it'll arrive in 2 mins it will. and there every train in about 5mins in between. How amazing is that and the Taxi still the cheapest taxi rate in the world and still this is just after the taxi rate just went up about 40% . It's the best place for me to be since I hate driving and loves walking.
And sems like every one of my cousins that were born here is just have these stupid idotic "american" attitude that I just wanna slap, and strangle out of them. I hate them so much.
Of course, the reason I will never ever have a family here. Stupid culture and idiotic country.
Again as I mention the only good thing they have is movies and Tv shows, or at least used too, now mostly they just copied everything from somewhere else like books, most of international best selling Twilight, etc. And some from foreign Tv Shows/Movies. Like: The Departed, oh my freaking Goddess It's a rip off from a very famous Hong Kong movie Infernal Affairs starring Andy Lau, the great actor of his time. and turned into A leonardo Decaprio movie, It won all the Oscar stuff, but no recolection of crediting it to the orginal or even mentioning that it was a remake as if they could have ever thought of such briliant movie, The Ring, it's form a Japanese horror movie Sadako, and please we in Asia dominated the best scary movies. American just rip it all off like the Grudge. Ugh, it just makes me sick ,although I'm totally not a fan of action movies and horror, and one of my favorite tv shows rite now the secret life of an american teenager, please American it's a free country that they even have school for soon-to-be teenage mothers, it's nothing compared to Pernikahan dini, an Indonesian Tv shows portraying Famous Actress/Singer, Agnes Monica in to the role of a teenage getting pregnant out of marriage in a country when it's is sin to have sex before marriage, imagine the total different scenarios and pressure that she gotta face, it's nothing compare to the normal american teenager getting pregnant in high school story. Please... (Althought I love The secret life of an American Teenager since it's so funny and romantic love story in it.)
And now the most recent stuff is creating tv show/movies from best selling series novels, The Cheetah Girls,Twitches, Gossip Girl, Lipstick Jungle, etc.
Not that they are not amazing, but are the used to be great movies maker/Hollywood are now crumbling down of fresh ideas and went to alternatives. I'm just saying I'm not complaining at all.
But again that all america is famous for and I cherrish those stuff as my life support through out my stay here in the freaking Us. I hope to leave A.S.A.P. Hopefully I'm blessed to do so and finally will be able to get my higher education somewhere different somewhere where people aren't as ignorant as people in here somewhere warm and where I feel welcomed somewhere where I can eat what I like, Asian food especially Japanese and Chinese, and somewhere I belong
Somewhere where I know I won't go crazy or mad and somewhere where my health would go to a better place, unlike in here of course whenever I come here from my vacation in Asia, I always instantly gain over 5pounds and those 5 pound that I "worked" to lose,well sort of on my vacation in Asia, Singapore and Indonesia. My first month after I come here I gain like 8KG and after the first year I gain 13KG and that's 30pounds. And You think I was over reacting about my health weight issue, and just blaming US, I blame because there's a reason to blame my health issues on to US. It's because It is what Us makes me. Please why would I ever blame the innocent one?
Basically I don't understand why some of my family members are sooo... interested in living here or having a life here, and my friends when I have told them that there have been nothing good happen to me since I move here and I think it will never be if I keep on staying here.
I guess Good Luck to all that dreams to have a life here, you all will need it bec it's not easy and never going to be, at least for me. I will never understand why anyone would ever want to live like american do, but then again not all of you ever understand why I want to live in singapore, so it's a vice verca thing. I'll never get you guys and you'll never gets me, am I right? or am I not wrong?
End of my vacation
I'm at my very last nite here in Atlanta , Georgia.
Well, I difinitely have a good rest / break from school hopefully it's really enough to recharge me back to be able to tackle 6classes back at SFSU(San Francisco State University) this fall semester, also with whatever
Well, I difinitely have a good rest / break from school hopefully it's really enough to recharge me back to be able to tackle 6classes back at SFSU(San Francisco State University) this fall semester, also with whatever
Saturday, August 23, 2008
All abour Agnes Monica's Tanpa Kekasihku song
Tao Priestess:
The biggest obstacle in my life has definitely been waiting...
for her
When is she coming! I have been waiting for a very very long time
Why isn't she come yet?
Prince of The Meanest:
who
Tao Priestess:
I dunno why I'm the only 1 feeling this
between all my friends and some of my family, but none understand how much I want her badly
Prince of The Meanest:
who ?
Tao Priestess:
her... the one I have been waiting for all my life
to marry to have my children with
to spend the rest of my life with
the one that actually saves me from this lonely and dark place
Prince of The Meanest:
oo
great
i dont know who
Tao Priestess:
Where is she...! I'm getting tired of waiting , but I can't don\ anything else besides waiting...
my future wife
my soul mate my one true love...
Prince of The Meanest:
k
Tao Priestess:
oh, my goddess listening to this song just brings out all this emotion and feeling of loneliness, and definitely brings out all these loneliness feelings that always on my mind and soul
this song just put my soul and mind to set through all the pain, all of those loneliness that
I have feeled while waiting for her to arrive in my life.
Damn it what took her so long!
Prince of The Meanest:
k
Tao Priestess:
I have never feel like a whole always feels like a half piece of a soul without her and yet I dunno where she is or when she's coming, but what I do know is that I can't live without her, I won't bec it'l kill me either way.
I have never feel like a whole always feels like a half piece of a soul without her and yet I dunno where she is or when she's coming, but what I do know is that I can't live without her, I won't bec it'l kill me either way.
apalah artinya hidup, tanpa kekasihku
percuma saja ku ada di sini...
It's very true at least for me I know almost none of you my friends understands it, but it's true.
I don't ask for your pitiness I just want you all to understand what I'm feeling here is all for real, and please... just this once, believe me when I said I do...
The biggest obstacle in my life has definitely been waiting...
for her
When is she coming! I have been waiting for a very very long time
Why isn't she come yet?
Prince of The Meanest:
who
Tao Priestess:
I dunno why I'm the only 1 feeling this
between all my friends and some of my family, but none understand how much I want her badly
Prince of The Meanest:
who ?
Tao Priestess:
her... the one I have been waiting for all my life
to marry to have my children with
to spend the rest of my life with
the one that actually saves me from this lonely and dark place
Prince of The Meanest:
oo
great
i dont know who
Tao Priestess:
Where is she...! I'm getting tired of waiting , but I can't don\ anything else besides waiting...
my future wife
my soul mate my one true love...
Prince of The Meanest:
k
Tao Priestess:
oh, my goddess listening to this song just brings out all this emotion and feeling of loneliness, and definitely brings out all these loneliness feelings that always on my mind and soul
this song just put my soul and mind to set through all the pain, all of those loneliness that
I have feeled while waiting for her to arrive in my life.
Damn it what took her so long!
Prince of The Meanest:
k
Tao Priestess:
I have never feel like a whole always feels like a half piece of a soul without her and yet I dunno where she is or when she's coming, but what I do know is that I can't live without her, I won't bec it'l kill me either way.
I have never feel like a whole always feels like a half piece of a soul without her and yet I dunno where she is or when she's coming, but what I do know is that I can't live without her, I won't bec it'l kill me either way.
apalah artinya hidup, tanpa kekasihku
percuma saja ku ada di sini...
It's very true at least for me I know almost none of you my friends understands it, but it's true.
I don't ask for your pitiness I just want you all to understand what I'm feeling here is all for real, and please... just this once, believe me when I said I do...
Still my no.1 song for now
Agnes monica - Tanpa kekasihku
Langit begitu gelap
Hujan tak juga reda
Ku harus menyaksikan
Cintaku terenggut tak terselamatkan
Ingin Ku ulang hari
Ingin Ku perbaiki
Kau sangat Ku butukan
Beraninya Kau pergi
Dan Tak Kembali
Dimana letak surga itu
Biar kugantinkan
Tempatmu dengan ku
Adakan tangga surga itu
Biar ketemukan
Untuk bersamamu
Kubiarkan senyumku
Menari di udara
Biar semua tahu
Kematian tak mengakhiri
Cinta.....
Dimana letak surga itu
Biar kugantikan
Tempatmu denganku
Adakah tangga surga itu
Biar kutemukan
Untuk bersamamu
Dimana letak surga itu
Biar kugantikan
Tempatmu denganku
Adakah tangga surga itu
Biar kutemukan
Untuk bersamamu
Apalah artinya hidup
Tanpa Kekasihku
Percuma Ku ada di sini...
Apalah artinya hidup
Tanpa Kekasihku
Percuma Ku ada di sini...
Apalah artinya hidup
Tanpa Kekasihku
Percuma Ku ada di sini...
Apalah artinya hidup....
Tanpa kekasihku....
I feels like I want to cry everytime I hear this, but since I can't cry for some reason, it's just not going to happen.
A piece of my heart to my one true love out there
Love, Mstm/Tao Priestess
Langit begitu gelap
Hujan tak juga reda
Ku harus menyaksikan
Cintaku terenggut tak terselamatkan
Ingin Ku ulang hari
Ingin Ku perbaiki
Kau sangat Ku butukan
Beraninya Kau pergi
Dan Tak Kembali
Dimana letak surga itu
Biar kugantinkan
Tempatmu dengan ku
Adakan tangga surga itu
Biar ketemukan
Untuk bersamamu
Kubiarkan senyumku
Menari di udara
Biar semua tahu
Kematian tak mengakhiri
Cinta.....
Dimana letak surga itu
Biar kugantikan
Tempatmu denganku
Adakah tangga surga itu
Biar kutemukan
Untuk bersamamu
Dimana letak surga itu
Biar kugantikan
Tempatmu denganku
Adakah tangga surga itu
Biar kutemukan
Untuk bersamamu
Apalah artinya hidup
Tanpa Kekasihku
Percuma Ku ada di sini...
Apalah artinya hidup
Tanpa Kekasihku
Percuma Ku ada di sini...
Apalah artinya hidup
Tanpa Kekasihku
Percuma Ku ada di sini...
Apalah artinya hidup....
Tanpa kekasihku....
I feels like I want to cry everytime I hear this, but since I can't cry for some reason, it's just not going to happen.
A piece of my heart to my one true love out there
Love, Mstm/Tao Priestess
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
On my holiday
It gets pretty boring here I am in Atlanta, Georgia visiting my siauciu(mom's lil bro)&his family, which includes his wife and my almost-soon-to-be-like-this-saturday-june-23th-soon-to-be 3 years old. My youngest cousin for now( my siauciu is talking about having another child next year).
It's pretty boring since it's not much of a tourist location, and it's hot and dry as hell, but I guess a lil bit of weather change from california won't kill me although it does killing my face with all the "pimple" sort like stuff starting to come out, but I figure I can't really do anything since I left my biore at SF. I haven't been out of the house in 2 days, well I'm kind of a cat house, but in my own house, in someone else's I'm not farmiliar yet, and I didn't have much stuff to do, da it's my holiday, so just been playing my DS for the last two days playing FF XII, about 39% now.
Technically I still haven't submitted one of my sumer classes final paper and the teacher if she's still waiting for my paper, but I just don't have the drive to do it maybe at friday, after a lil bit of rest after a crazy full mode summer semester to make up for the fall semester last year that I manged to screw up. I got about 12 classes left. I gotta take 6 this fall and 6 more this spring if I wanna graduate on time, which is next year's may 2009, but I believe that I was told by my counselors that's a crazy idea that 5 would already be the max, and that I should just owe 1/2 classes to finish on summer, temping and it would give me a time, in where I can visit my cousin, Lady graduation, but do I really wanna spent another summer in here, then again I guess it won't hurt me that much since once I'm outta this continent I'm never ever coming back again.
well I'll just do my best and really know my limit for the classes if I really can't handle it then no choice, but to finish summer, but the most important one is to be sure that the classes that I will owe to graduate first will exist on summer and to be sure to take all the classes that only exist in the fall or spring semester only if not then I'm totally screwed and have to wait until the end of the year to actually get the hell outta here or worse another year. Well, that's the worst come to worst, but if I'm also lucky enough to get a 2-year internship that start this fall I might just delay my graduation by another year bec I don't think it's actually possible to have time to take 5/6 classes and have a full/part time internship while having enough sleep or even good like B+ above "good" grade.I'm not that good and I'ld definitely need to enjoy a lot of Tv and movies time to cheer myself for the fact that those two re the only good thing that comes from U.S.A.
so like I said imposible to do well, maybe not that imposible, but definitely a no-life and no-tv for me, well no-life, of course I'm in here I have no life , not the one that's good, or what I wanted anyway, but no-tv oh, my goddess that would not only brings insanity to my life, but a total meltdown and posibility of suicidal mode to be turned on. Then again I'll try, but I'll doubt that my intership is that good , but who knows life surprises you, well rarely for me, but I guess sometimes it does, but really never that often for me.
anyway come back to my almost 3 years old cousin, who is apparently the most crybaby,needy,manja and bandel....... bgt oh, my goddess. kalo my waikong(my cousin's granpa) bisa ngeliat cucnya yg 1 ini. I alwyasy thought that the most crybaby cousin I have would be Lady's youngest sis, FW, but appearently I was wrong, oh my goddess even my roommate's almost 3 weeks old baby didn't cry as much as her. and have I mention the naughtiest,oh un-freaking believable I always thought that the naughtiest grandchild record would definitely be hold by my younger bro A2 when he's young, can u believe that a 2 years old kid is running around the changi airport the first time that we have ever been to singapore, my at that time 50 or definitely older than that yeye(grandpa) must run to follow him and keep up, caught him and then he escaped and run another round again, it's just unbelievable. And the most manja of all, really has to get what she wants or else, I thought I was holding the record for that one and still I guess, but she's just so freaking unbelievable, this cousin of mine, VW. And in her B'day I wonder what kind of shananigan stuff could happen, but hopes for the best especially when my siauciu really can't get a green card until 2010, and really decides to go home to indo, then VW can totally grew out of her "manja" stage since she have 17 older cousins that will dicipline her,....I hope.
Right now I'm just trying to enjoy my vacation and next week when my classes start I'll just have to bear with it until I get my mojo back when all the new season of my favo tv shows is starting again like Gossip girl 1 Sep the earliest show at least for the national channel, Greek is season premiering at next tuesday right after my new favo show The Secret life of An American Teenager, which apparently only 2 episode left until the seaon finale, ooh... then end of sep dancing with the star, the only reality show I watched. and my super favo Grey's anatomy is back.
Then the movies coming out oct24 High School Musical 3 Senior Year, oh, can't wait, then like nov 25 harry potter and the half-blood prince, and of course my new favo date 12.12.08 Twilight ooh, can't wait, and of course a lil bit of romantic comedy and just for laughin comedy here and there like the accidental husband, my best friend's girl, and coming out this friday is Disaster movies, gotta be plain lol.I'm so going to need it, believe me! why do u guys thinks that I can survive in here for 4 years long if it wasn't because of tv and movies I would have definitely gone cukko and inside a mental hospital right now, after all I'm stuck here for another year might as well enjoy THE ONLY GOOD THING ABOUT U.S.A. The TV shows and the Movies ! WHAT ELSE dAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
OK, tAO PRINCESS signing off until next time bloggers
OXOX
M$tm
(Hahahaha, totally copying Gossip girl and I totally mean to do OXOX and not XOXO, don't get me wrong)
It's pretty boring since it's not much of a tourist location, and it's hot and dry as hell, but I guess a lil bit of weather change from california won't kill me although it does killing my face with all the "pimple" sort like stuff starting to come out, but I figure I can't really do anything since I left my biore at SF. I haven't been out of the house in 2 days, well I'm kind of a cat house, but in my own house, in someone else's I'm not farmiliar yet, and I didn't have much stuff to do, da it's my holiday, so just been playing my DS for the last two days playing FF XII, about 39% now.
Technically I still haven't submitted one of my sumer classes final paper and the teacher if she's still waiting for my paper, but I just don't have the drive to do it maybe at friday, after a lil bit of rest after a crazy full mode summer semester to make up for the fall semester last year that I manged to screw up. I got about 12 classes left. I gotta take 6 this fall and 6 more this spring if I wanna graduate on time, which is next year's may 2009, but I believe that I was told by my counselors that's a crazy idea that 5 would already be the max, and that I should just owe 1/2 classes to finish on summer, temping and it would give me a time, in where I can visit my cousin, Lady graduation, but do I really wanna spent another summer in here, then again I guess it won't hurt me that much since once I'm outta this continent I'm never ever coming back again.
well I'll just do my best and really know my limit for the classes if I really can't handle it then no choice, but to finish summer, but the most important one is to be sure that the classes that I will owe to graduate first will exist on summer and to be sure to take all the classes that only exist in the fall or spring semester only if not then I'm totally screwed and have to wait until the end of the year to actually get the hell outta here or worse another year. Well, that's the worst come to worst, but if I'm also lucky enough to get a 2-year internship that start this fall I might just delay my graduation by another year bec I don't think it's actually possible to have time to take 5/6 classes and have a full/part time internship while having enough sleep or even good like B+ above "good" grade.I'm not that good and I'ld definitely need to enjoy a lot of Tv and movies time to cheer myself for the fact that those two re the only good thing that comes from U.S.A.
so like I said imposible to do well, maybe not that imposible, but definitely a no-life and no-tv for me, well no-life, of course I'm in here I have no life , not the one that's good, or what I wanted anyway, but no-tv oh, my goddess that would not only brings insanity to my life, but a total meltdown and posibility of suicidal mode to be turned on. Then again I'll try, but I'll doubt that my intership is that good , but who knows life surprises you, well rarely for me, but I guess sometimes it does, but really never that often for me.
anyway come back to my almost 3 years old cousin, who is apparently the most crybaby,needy,manja and bandel....... bgt oh, my goddess. kalo my waikong(my cousin's granpa) bisa ngeliat cucnya yg 1 ini. I alwyasy thought that the most crybaby cousin I have would be Lady's youngest sis, FW, but appearently I was wrong, oh my goddess even my roommate's almost 3 weeks old baby didn't cry as much as her. and have I mention the naughtiest,oh un-freaking believable I always thought that the naughtiest grandchild record would definitely be hold by my younger bro A2 when he's young, can u believe that a 2 years old kid is running around the changi airport the first time that we have ever been to singapore, my at that time 50 or definitely older than that yeye(grandpa) must run to follow him and keep up, caught him and then he escaped and run another round again, it's just unbelievable. And the most manja of all, really has to get what she wants or else, I thought I was holding the record for that one and still I guess, but she's just so freaking unbelievable, this cousin of mine, VW. And in her B'day I wonder what kind of shananigan stuff could happen, but hopes for the best especially when my siauciu really can't get a green card until 2010, and really decides to go home to indo, then VW can totally grew out of her "manja" stage since she have 17 older cousins that will dicipline her,....I hope.
Right now I'm just trying to enjoy my vacation and next week when my classes start I'll just have to bear with it until I get my mojo back when all the new season of my favo tv shows is starting again like Gossip girl 1 Sep the earliest show at least for the national channel, Greek is season premiering at next tuesday right after my new favo show The Secret life of An American Teenager, which apparently only 2 episode left until the seaon finale, ooh... then end of sep dancing with the star, the only reality show I watched. and my super favo Grey's anatomy is back.
Then the movies coming out oct24 High School Musical 3 Senior Year, oh, can't wait, then like nov 25 harry potter and the half-blood prince, and of course my new favo date 12.12.08 Twilight ooh, can't wait, and of course a lil bit of romantic comedy and just for laughin comedy here and there like the accidental husband, my best friend's girl, and coming out this friday is Disaster movies, gotta be plain lol.I'm so going to need it, believe me! why do u guys thinks that I can survive in here for 4 years long if it wasn't because of tv and movies I would have definitely gone cukko and inside a mental hospital right now, after all I'm stuck here for another year might as well enjoy THE ONLY GOOD THING ABOUT U.S.A. The TV shows and the Movies ! WHAT ELSE dAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
OK, tAO PRINCESS signing off until next time bloggers
OXOX
M$tm
(Hahahaha, totally copying Gossip girl and I totally mean to do OXOX and not XOXO, don't get me wrong)
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Copy of my life
I just found my friends' blog on diamondskin, and makes me wonder if the time have come for me to actually have a blog/journal/diary or some sort and it comes to think of it. It's good to try somethin new right?
I guess, but the thing is I never started this kind of thing for a reason my memory is never as bright as anything really, so I always ended up forgetting what have happen today or yesterday, and especially I would most likely to forget to write somethin in. I'm sure all of you that knows me well definitely know this.
So, since I don't remember anything interesting to tell, so most likely i'll just cite my song of the day/ moment kind of thing just like I always did on my msn if only my msn messgr have an unlimited space for me to type in.
i guess
i have the space here.
So the song in my mind lately would have been tanpa kekasihku by agnes monica that i have been listening to in you tube, I know it's an old song, but I just newly hear it since I live in the freaking selfish that doesn't know how to learn other language or culture besides english like Asia, so I have always missed out on the latest whatever, since somehow even though the song have been seen and heard in asia first before it was even play or exist in amrik although the songs ariginated in amrik, how freakin weird is that, imagine lah kalo musik negara sendiri aja bisa telat munculnya apalagi yg dr luar dijamin bgt ga masuk2.
anyway Ill blog about that when the heat is on , bukan gara2 i just remember it.
Tanpa kekasihku, the last lyrics yg agnes bilang is soo .... moving I guess.
Apalah artinya hidup tanpa kekasihku... , percuma ku ada di sini.
D reason I love this song. I mean bagian yg says that dimana letak surga itu biar kugantikan tempatmu dengan ku is very2 touching tapi yah since somehow I'm emotionally disconnected or so it's so hard to empathize her pain of losing her loved one since I don't thin I have ever feel anything that deep, I'm very good with rejection and absolutely clueless about controling my emotion or knowing when I actually have any feeling for some1 or any feeling about something it always toome me some great deal of alone time to actually pschoanalyze myself to even know what I'm feeling it's just so pathetic dat I can't even feel my own emotion and whenever any1 ask do I like some1, I didn't even know since I don't feel anything, apparently everything that comes in have to comes from my brain not my soul so everything suffer an emotionless responses to me.
ok, getting side tracked again, but I just have to mention that's not even the worst part, but it would be dat when I tell everyone including my best friends, I get the feeling that they don't believe me, really! It's just hard for my friends to not believe in me, I'm getting used to them listening to me with one ear and let go of my thoughts from their other ear, but it still hurt me somehow, and that emotion I can feel somehow.I guess all my friends are lucky that they can tell when they're liking some1, and I have to take a longer time to work and realize my own feeling.
And the fact dat I have never been in any romantic relationship ever even when I'm now 20 almost 21 years old, so I don't even know the feeling to lose someone over a break up more over a death, so I put in the last lyric of the song into me because I do feel like no one or no life because that some1 for me isn't there yet at my life and that I'm complaining that what's my life's worth without having her in my life like right now, whoever she is and whoever she might be, all I can do is live and be very patient and wait for her to come and save me, I guess I'm the cinderella of my story, just waiting and waiting for a princess to come and rescue me. I don't want to b like cinderella, but I'm afraid I just can't help it, it's all her decision, all I can do is keep breathing. Waiting for her to take me away,a secret place, a sweet escape, take me away.... plz...
I know my words sound like cliche, it's probably bec I always quotes from my favorite song, so forgive me.
I guess, but the thing is I never started this kind of thing for a reason my memory is never as bright as anything really, so I always ended up forgetting what have happen today or yesterday, and especially I would most likely to forget to write somethin in. I'm sure all of you that knows me well definitely know this.
So, since I don't remember anything interesting to tell, so most likely i'll just cite my song of the day/ moment kind of thing just like I always did on my msn if only my msn messgr have an unlimited space for me to type in.
i guess
i have the space here.
So the song in my mind lately would have been tanpa kekasihku by agnes monica that i have been listening to in you tube, I know it's an old song, but I just newly hear it since I live in the freaking selfish that doesn't know how to learn other language or culture besides english like Asia, so I have always missed out on the latest whatever, since somehow even though the song have been seen and heard in asia first before it was even play or exist in amrik although the songs ariginated in amrik, how freakin weird is that, imagine lah kalo musik negara sendiri aja bisa telat munculnya apalagi yg dr luar dijamin bgt ga masuk2.
anyway Ill blog about that when the heat is on , bukan gara2 i just remember it.
Tanpa kekasihku, the last lyrics yg agnes bilang is soo .... moving I guess.
Apalah artinya hidup tanpa kekasihku... , percuma ku ada di sini.
D reason I love this song. I mean bagian yg says that dimana letak surga itu biar kugantikan tempatmu dengan ku is very2 touching tapi yah since somehow I'm emotionally disconnected or so it's so hard to empathize her pain of losing her loved one since I don't thin I have ever feel anything that deep, I'm very good with rejection and absolutely clueless about controling my emotion or knowing when I actually have any feeling for some1 or any feeling about something it always toome me some great deal of alone time to actually pschoanalyze myself to even know what I'm feeling it's just so pathetic dat I can't even feel my own emotion and whenever any1 ask do I like some1, I didn't even know since I don't feel anything, apparently everything that comes in have to comes from my brain not my soul so everything suffer an emotionless responses to me.
ok, getting side tracked again, but I just have to mention that's not even the worst part, but it would be dat when I tell everyone including my best friends, I get the feeling that they don't believe me, really! It's just hard for my friends to not believe in me, I'm getting used to them listening to me with one ear and let go of my thoughts from their other ear, but it still hurt me somehow, and that emotion I can feel somehow.I guess all my friends are lucky that they can tell when they're liking some1, and I have to take a longer time to work and realize my own feeling.
And the fact dat I have never been in any romantic relationship ever even when I'm now 20 almost 21 years old, so I don't even know the feeling to lose someone over a break up more over a death, so I put in the last lyric of the song into me because I do feel like no one or no life because that some1 for me isn't there yet at my life and that I'm complaining that what's my life's worth without having her in my life like right now, whoever she is and whoever she might be, all I can do is live and be very patient and wait for her to come and save me, I guess I'm the cinderella of my story, just waiting and waiting for a princess to come and rescue me. I don't want to b like cinderella, but I'm afraid I just can't help it, it's all her decision, all I can do is keep breathing. Waiting for her to take me away,a secret place, a sweet escape, take me away.... plz...
I know my words sound like cliche, it's probably bec I always quotes from my favorite song, so forgive me.
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