Definition of stuck are unable to move from a position and the inability to do something about it. Being stuck in an unhappy marriage is unable to move on from one's unhappiness of being in the marriage or in any relationship, along with limited options that one's unwilling to take like divorce, separation, marriage-counselling, etc.
In a any normal relationship during dating period this sort of "stuck" dilemma also applies, whether it's "stuck" and you don't know it, "stuck" but are willing to enjoy it, "stuck" without any chance of moving on to a more serious commitment, "stuck" in the 'friend' zone, "stuck" with no compromise, etc. Every single "stuck" is covered with one's choice to stay within the relationship, but are unwilling/ incapability to change anything.
Some of the most common "stuck"s are
- "stuck" that he/she is no good for you, but one's just don't know it or realise it until it's probably too late. This kind of "stuck" one's usually in denial or refused to acknowledge due to the presence of pheromones, endorphins and other chemical reaction that cause 'the love effect'. Incapability to make rational decision is the trade mark of this kind of "stuck". Cure: to fall out of love and finally see if the person you initially "love" is the kind of person you would like to spend the rest of your time with or the person that you would be able to share a life with.（爱情盲目）
-"stuck" with an old pattern. This kind of "stuck" involves a set pattern of behaviour in mate-selection that make one keep on selecting the same type of partner over, over, and over again. Usually the same kind of reasoning for the break-up in the previous relationship will transfer over to the new ones as the old one the new one most likely to share similar behaviours due to one's own biased/conditioned per-selection of mates ritual in other words , different guy/girl, but always leads to a same/similar relationship issues. Cure: recommend therapy for realising own's own pre-selection of mates pattern of behaviour, and devoting oneself to change it. Einstein said, "Crazy is expecting a different results, doing the same thing over and over and over again."（换汤不换药）
- "stuck" in the middle. This kind of stuck involves poorly disoriented time-sharing period between one's lover, family, and friends. As relationship blossom the time spend on it requires more and more demands, a few cut on the family times as there are 2 families' events that one must attend from now on and a great deep cut and friendship time that causes one's best friends all falls on the sidelines as to be forgotten. The blame are usually put on the lover's as one's best friends felt more left out and as one slowly fades away from showing up on promises to be made with one's friends. As the the new relationship blossoms like a new delicate flowers, it does takes a lot of toll to make it work, but as the flower grows there will be times where one would need one's best friend rather than lover, so don't abandon one's cactus of friendship, just because one's roses of love demands a lot of attention. Cactus of friendship only needs to be water rarely, but can survive throughout harsh desert weather. Cure: make a time management table， don't cut off ties with friends，life partner are someone for us to share our life with not to become the center of everything in our life. (无理求全）
- etc
Now, for the cure of "stuck" in an unhappy marriage lies in making to change, what one's willing to compromise, what one's unwilling to compromise, what one's going to change, or what one's willing to accept in the terms of the thing's that one's can't change. One can only help oneself, to fix one's relationship need both parties to participate and willing, but it only takes one party's consent and perseverance to break of a relationship. So, break it off, or change something get a couple's hobby, couple's counselling, find a way to reconnect and rekindle old flame's of love.
My personal advice is to not get stuck in an unhappy marriage is to never based marriage on love, but rather on personality and family background compatibly, equal level of commitment, and clear line of communication between the couple. Because love is a feeling of emotion triggers by hormones and other stuff when you saw someone or a few someone, during this period your brain overloaded with enough ecstasy hormones (drunk by love) that allows you to make decision that you normally wouldn't take or even consider in a normal circumstances. What's too bad or luckily love goes as quickly as it comes. So when a couple drunken with love make big decisions, like being intimate, gets married, or have children, with any lacking of the basic for good relationship foundation, usually these decisions leads to future regrets. Virginity that once lost will never come back and Baby that once born will live on forever as reminder of drunken-love decision . Marriage will resulted in getting annulled or divorced, most common reason is their partner had changed, not the same person they were married to when in fact when they got married, the couple is a state of drunken love, so their ability to see their partner's true personality as about clear as a drunk driver seeing the road, mostly causing accidents.
Avoid getting stuck early on by analysing your probability or use your brain than you heart for the big decision.
My Psychology professor once said the best match for a long-lasting couple compatibility is recommended to be a couple with similar family background, opposite personality, with a long-time best friend history because:
-similar background leads to the how the couple manage to connect with each other.
-the opposite personality is what keeps the relationship interesting
-and the long-time best friend history is to bond each other even after the love grows blooms and wither away with time.
My theory is of a good foundation of a relationship/marriage is like wedding "cake".
-matching compatibility as the bottom layer of the cake,
-commitment as the middle layer,
-and communication as the top layer,
-as for love take it as the cream to cover the cake，to make it sweet and looks good, but without the cake's layer inside it's just a glob of fat that you know after eating it, you'll be regretting it on the next day.
~Mstm
